Candy Cane Vodka

Candy Cane Vodka

I'm going to a party on Christmas Eve and I wanted to take something new. Usually when I attend parties hosted by this particular friend I make vodka jellies but they're more of a summer treat than a festive one. Skittles vodka has been doing the rounds for a long time now so I figured that if that works, a candy cane one would too. 

The ingredients and method couldn't be more simple. You can make it in just a few minutes.

To make this festive tipple you will need vodka, candy canes and bottles. It's worth using a good quality vodka because this won't be something you drink with a mixer, it will be a shot. I'm using peppermint candy canes from Asda which cost £1 for 12, bottles from Lakeland which cost £2.99 each and hold 250ml and Grey Goose vodka. I don't how much the vodka cost because it was purchased from a duty free shop and was a gift. 

I decided to use one candy cane for each 250ml bottle. I put each one in a separate sandwich bag so I could ensure each bottle got exactly the same amount.

Bash each cane a few times to crush it.

Make sure the candy cane is really finely crushed so it dissolves easily in the vodka. After I'd bashed it a few times I rolled over it with the rolling pin to grind it up. You could also use a food processor to do this.

Poor the contents of each bag into a bottle.

Then pour in the vodka.

Give each bottle a quick shake to mix everything and you're done! 

Not all the crushed cane will dissolve straight away but that's fine, give it a couple of days and it will soon disappear. I checked on mine a couple of hours after I'd made it everything had mixed in beautifully. You can give it a taste and add more candy canes if you want. I think I prefer the square bottle as the vodka turns a lovely pale pink colour and this bottle shows it off more as the swing top has a slightly green tint to the glass. For presentation you can tie a candy cane onto the bottle with a ribbon or you could tie on a tag or even write directly on the bottle with a marker pen. This is sure to go down a treat with anyone you share it with and it makes a great home made gift. Next year everyone I know is getting sweetie flavoured vodka for their birthdays!

My Guide to Black Friday

If you know me 'in real life' or if you follow me on Twitter then you will know that for a week in November I become obsessed with Black Friday and to date I have a 100% success rate in grabbing deals. I've lost track of all the questions I've had on it so far this year and we're only halfway through Tuesday.

Black Friday is traditionally a sale that takes place in America on the Friday after Thanksgiving. People queue for days in advance outside Target, Best Buy and other stores to get the deals. Sometimes shops have a special freebie for the first 100 people through the door. This could be a free digital camera, extra discounts or another kind of incentive. If you've not witnessed the phenomenon of Black Friday in America then I urge you watch some videos on YouTube.

Black Friday in the UK first became popular in 2010. There were £50 Xbox and Wii consoles on Amazon but the deals weren't widely known about. In 2011 it was mainstream knowledge and this year it's even bigger. The general concept is this - Amazon will advertise a deal (I'll use a TV as an example) by saying that at 2pm a TV will go on sale. You can click on that TV, like you would on any other Amazon product, and you'll get all the item specifics such as size, brand, reviews and current price. What you won't be able to see is the price of the Black Friday deal. That will only be revealed at 2pm and on the Black Friday section of the site there will be a timer underneath the TV counting down until the deal goes live. When it hits 2pm the price will be revealed and a 'add to basket' button will appear. If you decide to go ahead with the purchase you have 15 minutes to check out otherwise you lose the TV. If you're not fast enough to click the 'add to basket' button you might see a 'join waiting list' button. If you click this you will be put in a queue and if a TV becomes available, ie if somebody doesn't check out before the 15 minute window, then you will be given the option of buying it. If you're on the waiting list for something you must stay by your computer because a little window will appear and you have only a couple of minutes to say yes or no and then you have to check out. Once a deal is live there will be a stock bar underneath the item showing you how much stock is left. The deals are live for a short period of time and is usually under 3 hours. After that they disappear.

Black Friday offers are called 'lightening deals' for a reason. They disappear faster than lightening. If you want something you have to be ready. It's no good having a casual look through the offers, seeing something you want that goes up at 1pm and then going off to walk the dog because if you come back at 1.15pm the item will probably be gone. If you really want something you have to be at your computer watching the timer go down with your hand on the mouse poised and ready to hit the buy button.

There is no rhyme or reason behind which items sell out and which items don't. Yesterday a £6 dry dog shampoo which had £1.05 off the usual Amazon price completely sold out in under 30 seconds whereas a Lego Star Wars kit which usually retails for £60 and was on sale for £20 didn't get above 20% of stock being purchased. Last year the Lego offers were gone in under a minute. You might think that the item you want isn't going to be popular and that you can get away with being a few minutes late but today a brown bamboo lamp sold out in 10 seconds so don't underestimate what people are after. There's also no way to know how much something will be discounted. Yesterday I bought a Moshi Monster talking plush toy for £7.99. It usually retails on Amazon for £16 so it was a 50% saving but today a friend asked me to keep an eye on the Just Dance 4 video game and the discount was only 33%.

Every day there will be a mixture of products but you can pretty much guarantee that there will always be watches, jewellery, video games, kids toys, blu-ray/dvd, electronics and clothing. The majority of deals will be advertised throughout the day but occasionally one will appear without warning so it's worth taking a scroll through all the items at least once an hour to make sure you haven't missed anything. Most of the items will have a picture and a link to the product page but a small percentage will be cryptic clues. Last year there was a clue about garlic bread and the item was a Peter Kay dvd. This year there are barely any mystery items so far but they are in there so keep an eye out.

If you see something you want, research it. If you're thinking of buying a new razor and you see that at 4pm one will go on sale, use the time in between to have a look at it. Find out what people think about it by reading the reviews, check what it is being sold for elsewhere and then make up your mind. Have a maximum price in your head and when it goes live if it's under your limit you can buy it.

Team up with friends if you have to. This year I have exchanged lists and maximum prices with a friend and we have the authority to purchase the products on behalf of each other if we see them. Each morning we will be having a look through the deals for the day and making a note of what we're interested in and the time it goes on sale and updating each other on what to look out for. If you know somebody who is desperate for an item, offer to watch it for them. Today there was a Lego Woody from Toy Story clock going on sale and I knew two people on Twitter who were trying to get it. Unfortunately neither of them got it but I did so I was able to pay for it on behalf of one of them, use their address for delivery and they sent the money over by PayPal. I did the same thing yesterday with some One Direction headphones and some earrings.

Try to ignore the negative naysayers. Every year folk bleat on about the deals being rubbish but that's only because they haven't seen something they want to buy. If you're a parent and your kid has asked for Lego and you manage to get it for £20 instead of £60 then that is obviously a good deal. If your girlfriend has asked for jewellery and you can get a necklace for half price then again, it's obviously a good deal. Nobody is forced into buying anything from Black Friday. If you don't like it, sit down and shut up.

So, in summary:

Look through the items before 8am each day to see what will be on offer.
Research any items you like the look of and decide a maximum price you're willing to pay.
Be at your computer before the sale countdown on your chosen item runs out.
Click the 'add to basket' button as quickly as you can.
Check out before your 15 minutes runs out.
If you're on a waiting list, do not leave your computer.
Refresh your browser and scroll through all deals at least once an hour.
Help your friends!

Good luck!

Recycling Beauty Boxes into Vintage Keepsakes

I've been receiving She Said Beauty boxes since April and I thought it would be a shame to throw the packaging away so I've been keeping them safe for Christmas. I've been decorating them using vintage images I've found online and the results have been wonderful. Each one is unique as no two are alike.

My first step was to find the pictures. I did an online image search of "vintage Christmas" and "Victorian Christmas". I pasted them all into a Publisher document, converted it to a PDF and printed them off. 

The second step was to cut the images out. There were 10 sheets of pictures for each box and to stop me getting in a muddle I kept the cut outs for each box in a plastic wallet.

When it was time to start decorating I gathered my small list of supplies; pva glue, paint brush, images and the box. 

I found it helpful to sort the pictures into sizes as it made things easier when decorating the boxes. I also put images I particularly liked at the top of the pile so they'd definitely be used.

The decorating was really simple. Using the brush I painted on some glue and put an image on top. I then went over the image with additional glue to smooth it out and get rid of any lumps and bumps.

Ensure your images go right into the corners and edges of the box.

I found it helpful for the images to slightly overlap in places and to go over the edges of the box, this ensures there are no bits that don't get covered and it also means the box has an even finish.

Don't worry if you get some wrinkles, you can smooth them out with additional glue when the first layer has dried slightly.

Getting a good layout can be tricky at times and I found it helpful to put the images on without any glue to see how they look next to each other and then I'd take a photo so I could refer to it.

Keep on gluing until you've covered the whole box. You'll have to take breaks so the glue can dry in places before moving on to the various sides of the box but eventually you'll have a box completely covered in vintage images.

We know how many goodies She Said Beauty pack into the boxes each month so you can fit a lot inside. I'm using them as Christmas presents that I'll be filling with all kinds of surprises. It's better than going into a shop and spending money on massed produced packaging. While I'm excitedly counting down the days to Christmas when I can give them to my friends I'm using them to store my ribbons, gift tags and other bits and pieces that I use for wrapping gifts.

In terms of monetary cost, these boxes are incredibly thrifty for something that is one of a kind. The glue was £1.50 and will be more than enough to do all 6 of the boxes I'm making, the paintbrush was £1 and the boxes were free. I printed the images at home but to try and put a cost on it, where I work charges 3 pence for each page of colour printing and there are 10 pages so that works out as only 30 pence per box. In total it will have cost me £4.30 for all 6 boxes - less than a pound each! Even if they were triple the cost it would still be worth it and your friends who receive one will know that you've taken the time and effort to hand craft them a one-off present.

Beauty Boxes - Are They Worth It?

I've been subscribing to beauty boxes for almost a year now and it's something that comes up all the time in conversation. I get asked about them a lot on Twitter because I always post excited tweets and pictures whenever one arrives or when I've found a new wonder product in a box. The general concept is that each month a box containing 5 beauty products is delivered to your door. The main question is always "Are they worth it". My only answer can be a resounding YES!

I originally subscribed to the Feel Unique beauty box back in December 2011 and I was thrilled when it arrived. It contained Tigi Bed Head Sugar Dust, a mini Nails Inc pink polish, Figs & Rouge lip balm, Clarisonic cleanser and Annik Goutal Mandagore perfume. There was also a bonus flyer with 3 tiny samples from a new beauty company in New Zealand. I felt it was a really good mix of products; hair, nails, lips, skin and scent. After that however things went a bit down hill for Feel Unique. My second box in January 2012 was very disappointing as it contained anti-aging cream, cleanser, a tiny face mask sample, shampoo for coloured hair, body lotion and a salt scrub so apart from the shampoo, which was useless for me since I don't dye my hair, all the products were for skin care. The third box arrived in February 2012 and was better as it introduced me to Nuxe oil which, when mixed with foundation, is simply life changing. I also got a huge bottle of Elemis hand wash as well as a hair elasticizer, nail polish, exfoliating cream and bonus sample of Jean Paul Gaultier's Kokorico for men. However, soon after the February box arrived the announcement came that Feel Unique would be discontinuing their beauty box.

I quickly subscribed to Carmine just in time to receive their February box. It was very different to Feel Unique as it was mainly make-up. I got an Andrea Fulerton nail polish, Daniel Sander eyeshadow, Frat Boy blusher and Diego Dalla Palma lipstick sample. Also included was some White Glo tooth paste and a bonus Yardley fragrance sample. I had mixed feeling about this box because whilst the nail polish was fantastic and I've gone on to buy other Andrea Fulerton products, the lipstick sample was completely useless. It was tiny, the wrong shade and the packaging wasn't robust so you couldn't have worn it for a day and carried it with you for reapplications. Then came the news that Carmine would also be discontinuing their beauty box.

I decided to give beauty boxes one more try and after researching both Glossybox and She Said Beauty I went with SSB. That's when everything changed.

Thanks to Carmine leaving it until mid-March to deliver the news that they wouldn't be sending out a box I missed the cut off point to get the SSB March box so I had to wait until April but it was worth it. My first box contained Mischa Barton lip tint, Filthy Gorgeous nail polish, Bella Pierre shimmer powder, Bharti Vyas face and neck polisher and a multi-pack of Comfort Zone samples. It also included a bonus pack of Erno Laszlo samples AND a Lindt chocolate egg. The Comfort Zone set of samples is one of my favourite things I've ever received in a beauty box. Inside a handbag shaped packet were generous samples of exfoliator, shower gel, body cream, remodeller, leg cream and tranquility cream. In March I went back to work after a break of 2.5 years so by the time this box came I was in need of a little TLC. The Comfort Zone pack covered all bases.

Since April I've looked forward to my SSB box coming through the door. The only product I've not been happy with was a Kim Kardashian perfume but that's more to do with the person than the product and it wasn't wasted because I was able to post to a friends sister who happens to be fan. A couple of months ago a nail polish wasn't included in my box and the customer service was second to none. SSB are on Twitter and always reply to any of your inquiries or comments and a new nail varnish was promptly delivered to me. The rapport they have with their customers is invaluable and I think they are leading the way when showing how having a social media team can benefit your business and keep customers happy and interested.

Each box always has a good mix of products, it's never too heavy on creams or make-up. SSB also send out beauty equipment - I've had eyelash curlers (amazing), the S shaped nail file by Tom from the Apprentice (also amazing) and blotter sheets (yes, you've guessed it - amazing).

Since April I've had a fabulous variety of goodies from tanning to vitamins, primer to nail wraps, cleansing oil to BB cream, false eyelashes to vegan lip whip. Brands have included St Tropez, Mischa Barton, Elemis, Vintage Cosmetics Company and Nails Inc. Each month you get your standard 5 items but SSB always include a 6th bonus item. There are at least 2 full sized products in your box (the photo I've used at the top of this blog is from the June box and has 4 full sized products) and the sample sizes are generous.

I've used most of the items I get but I have given a couple of things away. My mum is a sun worshiper so I gave her the tan accelerator cream that came in May's box as well the bronzer that came in the most recent one. I actually like being able to share things so I don't see this as a negative. The only item I've received since April that I haven't been able to use at all are the vitamins but that's only because they were green tea based and would interfere with my transplant medication but that information isn't in my online profile so SSB couldn't possibly have known about it. Everything else has fitted my beauty profile - no ghastly blue eyeshadow like the one my friend got in the August Glossybox. Despite being blonde and fair skinned she also got a dark brunette HD brows kit in the July Glossybox.

The SSB packaging is lovely too. The boxes are a soft shade of bluey-green, the padding inside the box is straw rather than shredded paper which I really appreciate and everything is wrapped up in pink tissue paper and tied with a ribbon. Beautiful.

The cost of beauty boxes varied in the beginning but they're all pretty much the same now. When I signed up to Feel Unique it was £10 including p&p but now all companies providing beauty boxes charge for p&p. She Said Beauty are the cheapest as they charge £9 per box with £2.95 for p&p making it £11.95 each month, Amarya charge £10 per box with £2.50 for p&p and Glossybox and JolieBox both charge £10 per box with £2.95 for p&p making them £12.95 each so they're all fairly evenly priced. There are discounts available for buying subscriptions in bulk too. The contents of every beauty box is worth a lot more than the price you pay for it. It's often at least double what you've spent, sometimes almost triple.

I don't wear a full face of make-up every day, I don't spend a fortune on the latest lotions and potions and I'm not an experienced beauty blogger. I'm just a normal girl who likes to pamper herself every once in a while and make the best of what I've got. I would wholeheartedly recommend beauty boxes to everyone because at a maximum cost of £12.95 they hardly break the bank. They're a wonderful little treat to look forward to each month and even if you do get something you don't particularly like you can share it with friends.

You can run but you can't hide

It's going to happen. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you protest, no matter how many tantrums you throw, no matter the lengths you go to in order to avoid talking about it. It is going to happen.

You can whine about it, you can cry about it, you can piss and moan and swear and stomp and stress about it but it won't change a thing. It is going to happen.

People will despair but it will still happen. People will lament but it will still happen. People will scowl but it will still happen.

It. Is. Going. To. Happen.

Christmas is coming and you can't stop it.

Every year around this time you get the usual crowd of grinches trying to halt the onset of the festivities. Like Christmas Canutes they attempt to stop the tides of time. United they may stand, grim resolution etched upon their determined faces as they chant "bah humbug" but united they will fall.

They will fall.

Instead of embracing the inevitable they begin an unwinnable battle. With a steely glint in their eyes they ignore each passing week. Their war cry can be heard across the land "It's not even December yet".

Some may relent slightly and give in to the temptation of a yuletide latte, others may be unable to resist the temptation of the lebkuchen that begins to appear on supermarket shelves but there will be no ground given in terms of presents or wrapping.

By the beginning of December the weakest troops will have given up their fight. Bullied into submission by partners wanting to get things planned, kids writing letters to Santa and the office elf bringing in mince pies.

Mid-December will arrive and by now only the strongest will remain. The decorations in every window and festive songs playing from every speaker in the land will have seen off the lesser scrooges but the crusade will continue for the hardened ebeneezers. THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME. NO I DON'T WANT A MINCE PIE. GET THAT TINSEL OFF MY DESK.

Soon enough it's Christmas Eve and thus begins the yearly defeat. Begrudgingly they traipse into town armed with pointy elbows, a snarl and a hopeless sense of misery. They'll have no idea what to buy, which shops are doing offers or how much things cost. Despite sharing the shopping battleground with their fellow cold hearted comrades there is no spirit of solidarity only a ruthless desperation to get things done. Buy the presents, get the wrapping paper, stop off at the butchers to beg for whatever they have left, resist the urge to murder the people hogging the cheese aisle at the supermarket, get home to wrap the gifts, remember you haven't bought sellotape, scream, head back out to find the only tape available is masking tape, buy it anyway, hastily scribble the gift tags, remember you haven't bought anything for your nephew, stick a tenner in a card, collapse exhausted, realise you've not finished everything, scream again, declare that you hate Christmas.

By this point the rest of us will be looking on with a sense of pity. We'll have thought of all the ideal presents to bring a huge smile to our loved ones faces and we'll have wrapped them all beautifully. Our fridges will be full to the brim of delicious treats, the veggies will be prepped, the turkey will be wrapped in bacon and we'll be sitting down relaxing with a Christmas tipple looking forward to waking up the next morning.

It's going to happen so do yourself a favour and accept this fact. There's nothing wrong with starting early. Save yourself the hassle of leaving everything to the last minute. You might find that you realise what you've been missing and that you actually love Christmas. Eliminate the stress, enjoy yourself.

Twitter Secret Santa

UPDATE! - The names have been drawn and I have sent you all direct messages with details of who you're buying for. Everyone's likes and dislikes are at the end of this blog. You do not have to buy something they have listed, the information is only there to give you an idea of the kind of things they like. The price guide is £5 excluding P&P. As somebody has already asked, if you want to spend more than £5 then you can but only if you're happy to.

What do people want to do about opening their presents? Do you want to open them as and when they arrive, do we want to wait until everyone is in receipt of their gifts and allocate a date to open them or do we want to wait until Christmas Day?

I will be organising a Twitter Secret Santa. This has come about after having the same discussion with three separate people and getting a bit caught up in the moment. Eek!

I will collate all the names of the participants by Thursday 15th November and will make the draw on Friday 16th November. I'm going to do it manually because I'm using an online draw for the Secret Santa I'm doing at work and it's proving to be a nightmare. You have to put in an email address for everyone and they have to click on a link to confirm they are joining. If even one person forgets to confirm then nobody can draw a name. Since I can't even get folk who sit three desks away from me to confirm I don't hold out much hope for hassling someone on the other side of the country. 

If you sign up you will have to give me a mailing address. This will be passed to one other person so they can post your present. It can be a home, work or PO Box address - whatever you prefer but if you're not comfortable with having 2 strangers knowing your address then please don't feel obliged to sign up. Your name would good to have as well although the postie will no doubt get a chuckle out of delivering a package to @MrsJustinBieberOMG.

The price limit on presents is £5 excluding P&P. Let's all try to be as creative as possible with the gifts - no cliched Dove and Lynx shower sets. Each person can give me a short list of particular likes and dislikes to aid their Santa if they wish. The post in December is erratic so I'm going to recommend we all post our gifts by Friday 14th December just to ensure it arrives safely. I would suggest getting proof of postage from the Post Office because if your gift doesn't show up to your intended recipient you will be named, shamed and *gasp* unfollowed. It's been suggested that in order to save on postage, if you're buying something online you could get it delivered directly to your assigned name rather than paying the P&P to your house and then reposting it to via Royal Mail. 

This is just a bit of fun, nothing to be taken too seriously. If you want to join in I will need you to do the following:

• Let me know you want to take part by tweeting me @romanyscarlett by midnight on Thursday 14th November. If you're a private account I won't see your tweet so I apologise if I don't pick up your participation request. I will be following everyone taking part (see the next point below) but I will also be listing all Santas in this blog so if you don't see your name, give me a nudge!
• You'll need to DM me your address so we'll have to be following each other. I will let you have your drawn name on Friday 15th November by DM. After that you're free to unfollow me if you wish - I won't take it personally!
• Tell me of any likes/dislikes you want your Santa to consider. This is optional, if you want a complete surprise then don't specify anything. The likes and dislikes are purely for information only, you don't have to buy somebody an item from their likes list - it's just to give you an idea about who you're buying for. 

I will send out a reminder to anyone who still needs to give me their address on Tuesday 12th November. If I don't have it by midnight on Thursday 14th then I will assume that you've changed your mind about participating. Listed below are all the participants, their likes/dislikes and confirmation of whether I've got their address. If you want to take part but your name is not on this list then please let me know. 

Any questions, leave a comment below or tweet me. Feel free to repost this or tell your followers. I'm using the hashtag #TwitterSecretSanta if you want to have a nosey at what other people are saying as the days go on. Since we started this project another group of people in America have attempted to hijack our hashtag (scandalous!) so try not to get confused. 

Current participants are as follows:

@scooshmeister - likes Spider-Man, comics, gadgets, gizmos, Lego - dislikes chocolate, small monkeys - address received

@lilliesandlove - likes cows, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis - dislikes nuts, spiders, shellfish - address received

@ogormless - likes true crime and cute boys, dislikes the Kardashians - address received

@rachel_2407 - likes girly stuff, animals, chocolates - dislikes sprouts, alcohol and nuts - address received

@phwoffy - likes cats, anything else with 4 legs, cake, chocolate, books, weird things that nobody can identify - dislikes peas - address received

@sophnina - likes owls and nail art - dislikes hair stuff - address received

@kerrieout - not an animal person - address received

@ianyorke - likes art, design, strange, quirky - dislikes pink, fluffy, common stuff - address received

@chellington24 - no dislikes, address received

@sammyislost - likes chocolate, useful things, photos, things for the house, about to have a baby boy - dislikes alcohol, sweets, books - address received

@romanyscarlett - likes Discworld, crafting and nail art - address received

@mitch_uk - likes geeky toys, gaming, comics - dislikes eggs, bananas, nuts - address received
@charleynew - likes sparkles, leopard print, dachshunds, owls, milk choc, nail stuff - dislikes orange flavour choc, jigsaws, cats - address received
@amyjayne - likes socks, Star Wars, dancing, gin, Downton Abbey, surprises - address received
@missliquorice - likes guinea pigs, yoga, home stuff, reading, nail art - dislikes liquorice, pink - address received
@xmjox - likes MMA, comics, gaming and gadgets - dislikes alcohol - address received
@sazzlejay - likes creatures (esp foxes & hedgehogs), cowboys/cowgirls, glitter, gloomy iconoclastic guitar based rock, poetry and Patagonia - address received
@beckycheeks - likes crafting, knitting, sewing, beads, nail art, food - address received
@ladykrw - likes milk/white choc, nuts, mint, owls, jewellery, accessories, Japanese, reading - dislikes, choc orange, liquorice, twilight, marmite - address received
@_MissH_x - likes green things, bracelets, scarves, stationery - address received
@___amy - likes tea, cake, anything cutesy and fun - address received
@jacquiesce - likes most things, dislikes nuts - address received

Blackberry Pastilles

Blackberry Pastilles

I've adapted this recipe from one I found in the Home Made Sweet Shop book. I had to make a few changes because I didn't have liquid pectin or liquid glucose and I wasn't convinced the recommended 800g of blackberries would give me enough juice. I've also used cup measurements rather than grams because the battery in my scales helpfully decided to die without warning. 

The ingredients you will need are as follows:

1,050g blackberries (I used 3 packs of 350g frozen blackberries from Asda)

2 1/2 cups preserving sugar (I used Silverspoon)

5 tblsp golden syrup (the original recipe asked for liquid glucose)

150ml water

1 tsp cream of tartar

1 sachet powdered pectin (I used Silverspoon again)

2 tsp lemon juice

100g granulated sugar for coating

The equipment you will need:

Clingfilm

15x15cm tin (I used my standard square brownie pan)

Sugar Thermometer 

Large saucepan

Two large glass bowls

Seive

Spatula

Large tupperware container

Chopping board

Sharp knife

Here comes the science.

1. Line your tin with clingfilm. I sprayed a few squirts of Frylight between the tin and film to help it stick.

 

2. Put your blackberries in the pan and heat gently for a few minutes without stirring. This will release the juices.

3. Put your sieve over a glass bowl and press the blackberries through the sieve so you get all the juice and can discard the pulp. You'll have to do this is stages because of the volume of berries.

4. Eventually you'll be left with a bowl full of juice. The original recipe said you should have 2 generous cups of puree from 800g of blackberries but I used 1,050g of blackberries to get the full 2 cups. It was more of a juice than a puree too, it was completely liquid. Mix in 1/4 cup of the preserving sugar and set aside until later.

5. Wash and dry your saucepan. Add the water, golden syrup, cream of tartar and the rest of the preserving sugar. Give it a quick mix. Try to ignore the resemblance to yellow snow (teehee!)

6. Put the sugar mixture onto a very low heat and stir gently until all the sugar has dissolved. This was the first time I've ever used preserving sugar and I was surprised at how long it took to fully dissolve. Once your mixture is no longer grainy, stop stirring completely and turn the heat up to medium. As soon as you start to see bubbles around the edges turn the heat up to high and boil until it reaches 130 degrees C. Do not stir!

7. This step runs almost concurrently to step 6. While you're boiling the sugar and waiting for it to reach 130 degrees C you can stir your sachet of pectin into the blackberry juice. I added my whole sachet at once which ended up being a nightmare as the powder clumped together forming hard to dissolve lumps. I almost missed the correct boiling point because I was distracted for so long. Next time I will add a little at a time and sprinkle it over the surface. I'll also be making a trip to Lakeland to buy some of their liquid pectin!

8. As soon as your sugar mixture is at 130 degrees C you can pour in your juice/pectin mix. Stir gently to combine and then leave it to boil back up to 103 degrees C. Now add the 2 tsps of lemon juice and continue boiling until you get to 106 degrees C. Then give it a little stir.

9. At this point the original recipe said to transfer it straight to your clingfilmed tin but I had a few lumps floating on the top of the mixture so I poured it through a sieve into a clean glass bowl. I'm glad I did this because as you can see below, the remnants left in the sieve are not pleasant!

10. Pour your sieved mixture into your tin and leave to set uncovered overnight. I noticed that as soon as I poured it into the tin the top started to solidify. 

11. Once your pastille block has set you can lift it up using the clingfilm and transfer it to a chopping board. Using a very sharp knife you can start to carve it into squares. Coat each square with the granulated sugar. Ensure your fingers are also coated in sugar as this will stop the pastilles sticking to you and breaking apart. 

12. Keep going.

13. Eventually you'll have a whole chopping board covered in sugar coated pastilles. 

14. Transfer your pastilles to an air tight container. I lined the bottom of the tub with clingfilm just to be on the safe side but I don't think this was actually necessary. I stacked half of the pastilles in a small glass bowl to take a photo and none of them stuck to each other. 

This recipe made 56 dice sized cubes. My tin has fluted sides and I had to cut the edges off to get proper cubes so if you didn't have to do that you could easily get another 7 squares. The original recipes suggests either cutting into squares or using a small cutter to create shapes such as hearts or stars. Personally I wouldn't like to use a cutter as the uncoated pastille is incredibly sticky and I think the shapes would break apart. 

I wouldn't say these pastilles were expensive but they weren't cheap either as the blackberries alone were £6 although if I'd been more prepared I could have picked some from the hedgerows. 

The pastilles are delicious but incredibly rich. You wouldn't be able to eat more than 2 in a row but that's not a bad thing as it means there are more to share around. They're wonderfully soft and the sugar gives them a bit of texture. They remind of those York Fruits but a bit softer and with a more intense flavour. 

You could easily adapt this recipe for any other berries as all you need is two generous cups of juice. I will absolutely be making strawberry versions next summer. 

Religion is great but it's not for me.

I'm not religious nor am I what you might call 'spiritual'. I would describe myself as agnostic - I believe in something but I have no idea what that might be. I know that I wholeheartedly do not believe in the Gods worshiped by any of the major religions. I'm pro-choice, support gay marriage and know that men and women are equals. I can't say that I only believe in things that can be irrefutably proven because whilst due to all the evidence I obviously accept evolution as being true, I also think that there are aliens out there somewhere and yet I have no hard evidence of this.

It usually surprises people when they find out that I was a deeply religious child. For reasons I'd rather not go into now, my childhood was not a happy one. I don't want to go into it because somethings need to be kept private and once you put something on the internet, it's hard to take it back. Anyway, my parents are not religious at all (although my biological father does come from an Irish Catholic background) but this didn't stop me. When most kids were asking for dolls or teddy bears, I wanted a bible and a statue of Jesus. I'm not joking, I actually asked for and received these items. I insisted on going to Sunday school and rather than being Christened as a baby, I was 6 years old when it happened.

My lack of faith now is attributed to what can only be described as the systematic destruction of my beliefs by the things I experienced in life. It became increasingly evident that if there was indeed a God then he certainly didn't like me very much. Oh, and my education had a hand in it too. As a kid I believed that god made the world, people and animals. At school you learn about the Big Bang, evolution, fossils, other planets and just how incredibly vast the universe is.

There are too many plot holes in religion for me. Like a badly written book (no pun intended) that doesn't make any sense. Why are whole nations starving or sick while others aren't. Why are prayers for a sporting victory answered while prayers for food aren't. I'm not naive enough to think that everything should be some kind of crazy utopia with no heartache or pain but I can't help but wonder why such terrible things are allowed to happen to good people every day. There are also some odds rules. Leviticus bans tattoos, eating various animals and drinking alcohol in holy places. Not too sure how that translates for Catholics when it comes to taking Holy Communion. Jewish men have to be circumcised. Jehovah's Witnesses would rather die than agree to a blood transfusion. Muslim women cover their entire faces. Sikhs can never have a hair cut.

I can only base my beliefs and opinions on the things I have personally experienced. I have found that a lot, and please note I didn't say all, of the religious people I meet to be overbearing and hypocritical and sometimes they have perhaps a little streak of delusion. I feel it's important to stress that I'm not saying this as a way of being insulting. The word overbearing comes from feeling the need to push their religion on others. The word hypocrisy comes from adhering to the parts of the religious text they like whilst considering others to be an interpretation, from not being forgiving and from being prejudiced. The word delusion comes from following with blind faith the writings of other human beings from thousands of years ago in long dead languages.You can choose to believe in whatever you want just as I can choose to believe in something else. Yet this concept is lost on some people. I have never had a Darwinist knock on my door to tell me about the word of evolution. I've never had an atheist tell me they will pray for my soul. I've never had a fellow agnostic credit one of my hard won achievements as being part of God's big plan for me. I've never had a humanist set up a soapbox in the town centre and tell me I'm going to hell.

We're living in an age where the media reports on religions all around the world on a daily basis and sadly people are becoming increasingly prejudiced against religion. We rarely get to read the good news stories and are instead presented with the negatives. We forget that for every suicide bomber, pedophile priest or homophobic protest there are people doing incredible deeds. Religion can be a wonderful source of comfort for people. It can bring a sense of inclusion, safety, security, happiness and love. I don't think people are aware of how important places of worship are to local communities. Sikh temples will offer shelter and food to anyone regardless of faith. Churches are used across the country for countless community events with smaller charities being given the free or low cost usage of halls. Without this help many of them wouldn't be able to carry out their work.

I get quite sad when I hear people being so derogatory about religious people. We complain about being tarred with the same brush and stereotyped if we drive a BMW (road-hog), wear a hoody (thug) or own a pair of gold hoop earrings (chav) but we're all too happy to call all Christians 'bible bashers' or 'god-botherers'. I think a great deal of tolerance is needed from both sides if anyone is ever going to be happy. Nobody deserves to be persecuted because of their beliefs but that includes those of us who choose not to believe in a particular deity. I don't want anyone to pray for me because I don't have god in my life just as the person doing the praying doesn't want me wishing on a star that they change their mind and lose their faith. I don't want to answer the door to find people trying to tell me about god. I don't want to come home and find flyers from the local Scientologists posted through the letterbox.

If you're religious and happy then good for you. I'm not religious and I'm equally as happy. If we're all happy then what's the problem? Live and let live and all that jazz. I won't come to your place of worship or home and try and read On the Origin of Species to you so how about we agree that you won't come to my door to preach.

Get a life? Stop being judgmental and get your own.

Twice in the past few weeks I've been told to get a life. Once indirectly, the other directly. I suppose the first doesn't really count because it was by a person expressing their opinion about everyone who watches a certain popular weekend song based reality tv show. But the second one did make me think.

It came about because I said I was going to return a book because the shop had put 3 huge stickers on the cover and they wouldn't come off without damaging the book. For this I was told I need to stop complaining and go out and live. I've thought about it for a few weeks and my conclusion is that living is exactly what I am doing.

Anyone who knows me is aware I had a scary couple of years of ill health, goodness knows I bang on about it enough. In that time I almost died 3 times and the simple fact is that I am lucky to still be here. Obviously I'd much rather not have gone through this ordeal but there is an upside to it because I truly appreciate everything I get to experience from the mundane to the exciting.

I wrote two letters each time I was due to have an operation. One to Rich and one to my mum. I won't go into the emotional content as thankfully neither of them ever had to read them and they never will because every time I came home safely, I destroyed the letters. There's something about writing a final goodbye to the people you love that makes you appreciate them that little bit more. There's also something to be said about putting your life on paper. Your bank pin number, passwords, where you keep the car documentation, the phone numbers of people who will need to be told if something goes wrong. I know people write Wills but they're usually made on the assumption of being used a long time in the future. It's quite a humbling experience.

I may not be achieving incredible deeds or changing the world. I'll never parachute to Earth after leaping from space. I'll never run a marathon. I'll never develop a cure for the common cold. But what I will do is be happy and that is what I am - truly happy. I get to spend extra time with the people I love. I get to hug my dog, bake a cake and walk through a forest. These little joyful things are so beautiful. I see things differently now, it's not just a drink in the pub with friends, it's a chance to listen to their stories and share their lives. I went to a friends 30th birthday party recently and it wasn't just an opportunity to catch up with people I'd not seen for years, it was a chance to see people I thought I'd never see again. It's like winning first prize in a contest you didn't even know you'd entered.

And the whole thing that started this off was a bitter person judging me for wanting to return a book. But it's not just a book. The book in question was the latest Terry Pratchett novel. I've already written about why he's one of my heroes. It's not just words on paper. It's a chance to appreciate a story from a writer I have loved for over half my life. It's a chance to escape to a glorious world created by an exceptional mind. It's no secret that Terry is ill himself so every book he writes is that little bit more delicious. It's a treasure you weren't expecting to find.

It's sad that this person would be so dismissive. I need to go out and live because something I hold so dear to my heart wasn't quite right but was easily rectifiable? Being so derisive seems silly when you get the context behind it. I might think that their life isn't much to write home about. Letting your newly set up business fail so you can stay at home in your pyjamas stuffing your face all day in front of the telly while your partner goes out to work to support you and your baby. I could think that but I don't. I know better than to tell someone to get a life without knowing all the facts.

You might look at somebody's life and think it's not how you'd spend yours. That's fine. Don't spend it like them. Spend it how you want and focus your energies onto enjoying it rather than worrying about what other people are doing. Take the time to do something you love instead of commenting on how you don't love what another person is doing. The old cliché is 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone' and as ancient as it is, it doesn't stop it being true. If you spend your time looking out the window and judging what other people are doing, your own opportunities will be gone before you know it.

Ignoring X-Factor does not make you better than me

It's that time of year again, the live shows have started and the X-Factor machine is in full motion.

Anyone who watches it is fully aware that the 'competition' is far from serious. We know that the show creates characters such as the cheeky chappies portrayed as a lovable chimney sweeps who couldn't catch a break, the earth mothers who are "doing it for their kids" and the shaky-handed, terribly nervous young supermarket workers just trying to live their dream. We know it's a load of crap because the internet tells us it is. We know that the chimney sweep from this year was in fact in a successful duo that played at major festivals such as V and Wireless. We know the mother who is finding it difficult being parted from her kids as she wasn't expecting it to be so tough knows fully what would be expected because she had a record deal with EMI and has provided backing vocals for popular artists such as Kasabian. The shaky-handed, terribly nervous supermarket worker can been seen on YouTube busking in the street singing in front of a crowd and he has confirmed the producers invited him to audition.

I have all the facts and I still choose to watch it anyway. But it hasn't always been that way. I used to be like these people.

I used to say things like that. I couldn't believe that people actually wasted their time watching such nonsense. While everyone at work would be discussing the show I'd be scowling, scoffing at them and muttering insults about their stupidity. Friends would have X-Factor parties each weekend (back when the results and exit was the same night as the singing) and I wouldn't go because I wouldn't be seen dead watching something so far beneath me. It's quite hard to look down your nose at someone when you're only 5'3" but I gave it a bloody good go.

But where did that attitude get me? It got me nowhere. All it did was isolate me from conversations and I'd miss out on a good time. And for what? So I could feel intellectually superior over a tv show? What a monumental waste of time.

I'd come to realise this and although I was still loathe to give in and join the masses in 2009 a friends step-son was on the show and she wanted everyone to watch and support him. As it turned out he didn't make it past boot camp but by then I was already into the program so I carried on watching. For once I was able to join in with the fun, and that's all it is - a bit of fun. 

Sorry Fred but I could mention Mensa, grammar school and assisting with the management and legal work on £1billion (yes one billion pounds) worth of property in London to prove my worthiness at being valued as a human being of intellect. 

Apologies to Iain for holding down a job, running a household and not having any credit cards or a penny of debt because in my humble opinion that eliminates me from the idiot category. 

CJ, you've never met me but thanks for the sweeping generalisation. From your timeline I can see that you spend all your money on alcohol and weed, you posted a photo mocking the disabled and you've got your phone number listed on your public profile. But yes, it must be me who is the "fucking gimp". 

Finally, it is with regret that I inform you, DJ, that I did in fact 'get a life' just over a year ago when I had my kidney transplant and guess what, I still want to watch X-Factor.

Being wrong is never an easy thing to admit but I'm happy to do it. Being a judgmental cow was pointless and all that time I thought I was better than my friends and colleagues because I didn't watch it, it was really the other way round. They were better than me because they didn't judge me for not watching it. 

If I choose to stay at home on a Saturday night and watch a tv show that half the country is also watching, why does that give you the right to decide that my status in humanity has become void? I know it's not real, I don't take it seriously and I have never voted for an act. 

Instead of worrying about what I'm watching you should be worrying about the hatred and vitriol you feel the need to put out into the world. You're reacting like that to a tv show about singing. Really? You should take a moment to think about how utterly ridiculous that is.

You think you're above everyone on the moral high ground but you forget, it's lonely at the top.

Who are your heroes?

I have three heroes. There isn't a single day that goes by when I don't think about or thank one of them. It could be a split second thing, a quote, something about them could come up in conversation or I'll recall a specific topic. Whatever the reason, for over half my life I've thought about these people daily.

Some may think that heroes should be historic figures who have drastically improved the lives of many whilst making sacrifices in their own. Perhaps the Suffragettes who bravely campaigned to get women the vote or maybe Martin Luther King who fought for civil rights. Others might say that heroes should be people you know personally. A grandparent who was in a war, a relative who has overcome illness or a friend achieving their dream.

My heroes may not have changed the world and I might not know them but each one has had a huge impact on my life. They might not be your first choice in terms of who you admire but they are so deeply ingrained in my existence that I would be a completely different person if I hadn't discovered them.

My heroes are an author, a comedian and a playwright. Terry Pratchett, Eddie Izzard and Richard O'Brien.

Between the ages of 13-14 years old I read Witches Abroad written by Terry Pratchett, watched Glorious by Eddie Izzard and saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show penned by Richard O'Brien. It was love at first sight.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is my favourite film of all time. Yours might be something by Hitchcock, a timeless classic, have a gritty script or a bunch of heavyweight actors but mine doesn't. Mine has music, transvestites, aliens, glitter and Meatloaf. I stopped counting how many times I'd seen it when I reached the 187th viewing. Watching it with friends and us all singing along and laughing away has created some great memories for me. For years I wanted to be a Criminologist because of this film. It's shaped my love of all things sparkly. It doesn't try to be something it's not and it's completely unapologetic about it.

Terry Pratchett has single-handedly shaped my sense of humour. His Discworld books will always be the best books I will ever read because they make me laugh. When I read one I feel like it's written it just for me as I fall in love with every character, the good ones and the bad, because they are simply perfect. Their dialogue, their reactions, everything. I will stay up all night devouring page after page. When I turn a page and see one of his hilarious occasional footnotes at the bottom it's almost torture stopping myself from reading it before I get to the piece of text it relates to. I react to everything with humour, especially the serious stuff and it's all because of Sir Pratchett. In the last few years I've been told by many medical staff that my attitude to life in the shadow of serious illness is very refreshing and I have Terry to thank for that.

I don't know where to start with Eddie Izzard. Glorious was on tv one night and after watching it I was obsessed. A friend at school had watched it too and for weeks we reminisced about evil giraffes, being covered in bees and Sean Connery as Noah from the bible. I eventually bought it on VHS (remember those?!) for £17 from HMV. Over the years I've watched everything he's made, spent a fortune on collector edition box sets and been to see him live. I used to have a terrible phobia of needles and after seeing the size of the ones used in dialysis I was convinced I'd die before they'd be able to get near me with it. The psychologist offered me hypnotherapy and I had to choose somebody I admired as part of it so I chose Eddie. She used him during the hypnotherapy for me to relate to when I next needed to be brave because he was able to get on stage and make thousands of people laugh without getting stage fright. It worked. I'm completely cured. I can hold needles, even if they're in my arm. I haven't cried, thrown up or had a panic attack after seeing one on tv for over 2 years now. The change is incredible.

My heroes have shown me how to be myself, to have a sense of humour and to be brave. Three hugely important life lessons and what a wonderful trio of people to teach them.

Who are your heroes? I'd love to know.

Winter is here so give a cheer!

Britain is awash with people grimly coming to the realisation that Winter is upon us. October begins on Monday, there are severe weather warnings across the country and central heating systems are groaning back to life. The mood is bleak and folk are glum.

But I think you should turn that frown upside down. There are so many reasons to love Winter so here is your guide to making the most of what tends to be the most hated season.

The Weather

Now, you're probably of the opinion that there is nothing to love about the cold weather but you'd be mistaken. How often in Summer do you make plans only to have them foiled at the last minute because of the rain? That will never happen in Winter. We always plan for the worst in these upcoming months, we know it could rain at a moments notice and that it'll be cold so we can make arrangements. Plus, there's always the hope of that wonderful rare beast making an appearance - The Snow Day. You go to bed and when you wake up in the morning the streets are under a blanket of glorious white frosty glitter. The roads aren't safe so you couldn't possibly make your way to the office, the kids can't go to school and everyone gets a fun packed day off. I know for some people like doctors, firemen and the police that snow days mean a lot more hassle and I salute them for putting up with it while the rest of us snuggle under the duvet or have a snowball fight.

The Fashion

This one is probably more for the girls than the boys. Winter fashion is simply superb - chunky jumpers and boots a-go-go. Summer fashion is great too, all the floaty dresses and sandals etc but there is so much work to go with it. Fake tan, hair removal, pedicures and the all the rest. In Winter you can put on some tights and nobody is going to know that you've not shaved your legs. For the insecure among us the constant pressure of having a Bikini Body disappears for another year. Sure the wind and rain might spoil our hair and make-up a few times but it's not much that can't be fixed with a comb and a quick touch up. Hayfever on the other hand ensures that you look like a puffy eyed, runny nosed, groggy goblin all day long.

The Sleep

No more sleepless nights is a big enough reason to break out the flags and welcome Winter. You can go to bed and not spend hours tossing and turning because of the muggy heated nights. It might be cold outside but you've got a hot water bottle, your favourite pyjamas and a heavily togged duvet. A good nights sleep is practically guaranteed.

The Food

We all love seasonal fresh fruit and salads in Summer but they can't compare to the pure comfort of Winter food. Folk can dust off the slow cookers, chuck in a few ingredients and when they get home from work they have a perfect casserole waiting for them. No fuss, no effort. Winter hails the return of the Roast Dinner. Just pause for a moment to savour the thought. ROAST DINNERS. Succulent meat, fluffy potatoes, piles of vegetables, gravy. All on the same plate. It's a dream come true.

The Celebrations

Christmas. Christmas. Christmas.

Many people don't like the run up to Christmas as they feel it's been hijacked by shops and is too commercial. That's fine and I can see where they're coming from. Personally I absolutely LOVE Christmas. It's not about the money it's about the spirit. I enjoy Christmas because of the time spent with loved ones and the extended break from work. Even the naysayers who don't enjoy the run up to the big day chill out and enjoy themselves. It's perfectly acceptable to drink a bucks fizz for breakfast, have a few Baileys during the day and polish off some spirits in the afternoon so even if you can't bring yourself to enjoy the festivities, at least you can blot the day out in a haze of alcohol.



So, next time you look out the window and feel a bit bleak, remember that there are loads of reasons not to regret the onset of Winter. Grab yourself a hot water bottle and some roast potatoes and enjoy them.

Normal Girls Are Not Jealous of Strippers. Fact.

I love being a girl. Despite what the feminists may think of me I love being able to buy shoes for every occasion. I love being able to paint my nails in all the colours of the rainbows and top them with glitter. I love being able to go all out with my eyeshadow.

But most of all I love being able to appreciate the beauty of other women without worrying what my friends or society thinks of me. I can watch Doctor Who and marvel over Karen Gillan with her perfect skin. I can see a photo of Rihanna in a bikini and say "wow - what a body". I can go shopping with a friend and tell her that she's found a killer top that flatters her in all the right places. I can talk about Emma Stone being a total babe with my other female friends without worrying that they'll think I'm secretly in the closet. Sadly, this is something men can't do. If a bloke went to the pub and said to his friends "Cor, have you seen Eric in True Blood? That is something special" he would be mocked relentlessly probably for the rest of his life.

Girls can find beauty in other girls when men might overlook it. We can see a beautiful smile, great hair or sparkling eyes while men might just see body or bust sizes. I know the old adage 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' but I wish that men could understand how women work when it comes to rating other women.

What comes up time and time again is if any man overhears any woman making what he perceives to be a negative remark about a semi-naked female. It could be a Page 3 girl, a porn star or even that strange creature in a body stocking on X-Factor last week and it might be a remark as innocent as "oops, she's forgotten to fake tan her underarms". The first thing he will say is "you're only saying that because you're jealous".

No. We. Are. Not. 

What are we supposed to be jealous of exactly? That we aren't in the paper pouting whilst simultaneously cupping our breasts? Oh wait, maybe we're supposed to be jealous that we aren't as thin as the model. Or should we be jealous that we aren't as pretty? It doesn't work that way. We might say "oh dear, she's got an orange face from the wrong foundation" but that doesn't mean we're slating her or calling her ugly. It's just an observation. Looking a picture of a female celeb on the red carpet and saying that we don't like her dress because it's not the right cut for her isn't a catty remark, it's simply a fashion critique. We may have swooned over her dress at an awards ceremony the week before.

Men are allowed to openly criticise and pass judgement on other men when it comes to sports but they're not laughed at and called jealous. If anything, men are more likely to be jealous of their sporting heroes than girls are of strippers. Getting paid a ton of cash to kick a ball around, have a huge house, fast car and a good looking wife is obviously quite the incentive. On the other hand being a stripper means an eternity of dieting, plucking, waxing, shaving, dying, straightening, cleansing, toning, moisturising and dancing around for men who can't find a woman willing to get naked for him without being paid. Creepy and a lot of hard work.

Some girls might have an issue with the man, or indeed woman, in her life watching porn or looking at boobs on Page 3 but it's not out of jealousy. It's out of respect for herself.


At some point in every woman's life they have tried to impress their significant other. For some this could involve a 3 day pampering ritual starting with the removal of all their body hair from the neck down, others may go to the hairdresser or they could simply wear that special dress they know their partner loves. Standing there naked with it all hanging out and on show is pretty much the least effort you can go to.

Ask any man if he'd be happy with his daughter, sister or girlfriend doing porn or Page 3 and the chances are he'll say no. Why? Because he knows how men think and that they will only see her as a pair of boobs with no respect. So it's ok for men to forget these girls are human beings and talk about what they'd like to do to her and objectify her but if another woman says she should reshape her eyebrows then she's the one in the wrong because she's jealous? Yes, it all makes perfect sense.

Personally I don't see anything wrong with getting your body out as a career so long as it is something you haven't been forced into. My cousin has made a fortune from dancing round a pole. She's paid for her house, always has a new car, nice clothes and the latest gadgets etc. and it's been her choice. She's a genius because essentially men are paying her to wiggle to the music for a few minutes. They don't get to touch her and if they annoy her she can get them thrown out, minus their money of course.

Guys, if you took a girl home to meet your parents and had to tell them that she was a topless model would you be comfortable doing it? If your mum didn't approve you almost certainly wouldn't say it was because she was jealous would you? So why do you say it to your platonic friends and colleagues?

The next time you hear a girl say something about another woman don't assume the worst and think she's been possessed by the green-eyed monster. Respect her enough to acknowledge that she's allowed an opinion on whether nipple tassels look tacky.

The Fasting/Foraging Diet

I don't think I've ever felt more popular than I have this past week. Firstly there have been a ton of questions about the Oreo Truffle recipe and secondly I've been road testing a diet that I recently heard about which has definitely got people talking.

By way of a bit of background info, I would never say I've struggled with my weight until now. My wardrobe has clothes that range from a 10 to a 16 and it's never been a problem. I have beefed up and slimmed down more times than a celeb with a fitness video because I love the wrong kinds of food. It may also surprise people to learn that I am an incredibly fussy eater. Most of the time when I'm trying out a new recipe I won't be eating it myself, it'll just be Rich or the rest of my family while I sit down with toast.

In the past I would have no trouble shedding the pounds in a very short space of time. If I had an event to go to I knew I could do my self-invented Lucozade diet and I'd be guaranteed to lose half a stone in 5 days. The Slimming World diet would guarantee a drop in dress size in a month. All that has changed since I started taking steroids for my kidney transplant. I put on THREE STONE in 4 months after the transplant due to the steroids and even though I stopped taking them in July, their legacy lives on. It's still soul-destroyingly difficult to lose even one pound a week so I'm willing to try anything.

The premise of the diet is this: fast on one day, feed on the next. The original diet is called the 5:2 diet because you fast on 2 alternating days eating less than 600 calories and eat whatever you want regardless of calories on the others. For the first 2 days of the diet I thought the feeding days had a limit of 1600 calories but I changed this on day three when I found out. I also decided to fast on Monday, Wednesday and Friday with a limit of 500 calories a day.

I weighed myself on Monday morning and saw I have 6.6lbs I want to lose as quickly as possible. Throughout the week I drink only water and Pepsi Max. I don't drink tea or coffee anyway so having to cut these out to save on calories from milk and sugar isn't an issue for me.

Monday - fasting

I skip breakfast and by lunchtime I'm not even remotely hungry. Surprisingly I don't get hungry until 5pm so I eat some Nutri-Grain breakfast biscuits at 189 calories. They fill me up and I'm fine until 8pm when I have a slice of dry toast at 100 calories. Total calories for the day 289 with no side effects or feeling ill.

Tuesday - feeding

Again, I'm not hungry at breakfast so I skip it. At work I feel fine, no problems at all. I have some breakfast biscuits for lunch at 189 calories. At 5pm I'm starving but Rich is at the cinema tonight so I'm not cooking any dinner and I'm too lazy to make something for just me. I have a packet of Wotsits, a plain wrap and a Rice Krispie square which comes in at under 450 calories. Only 2 hours later I'm ravenous so I raid the freezer to find something quick to cook and come up trumps with some Tesco potato animal shapes, hardly cordon bleu healthy cuisine but it'll do. I have them with some ketchup and it comes to 500 calories. Total for today 1,139 calories.

Wednesday - fasting

I realise I've been missing loads of nutrients so I decide from now on my fasting days will consist of breakfast biscuits, an apple and grape bag, a banana and a Babybel. This totals 380 calories giving me a 120 calorie buffer if I need it. I've come to the conclusion that I can miss breakfast without it upsetting me so today is no different. I do notice today that I'm incredibly scatty. I do the weekly food shop and buy the wrong crisps for Rich. I also keep leaving things around the house and forgetting what I was doing 2 seconds before. Putting the shopping away is frustrating because I kept misplacing things. I eat my biscuits, apple and grapes, banana and Babybel by 5pm but by 6pm I feel like I've not eaten at all. I have another Babybel and I'm fine after that. Total calories for today 450.

Thursday - feeding

I wake up at 5.45am to take Rich to the station for a business trip. By the time I get home I feel like I could eat a horse. I practically inhale 2 scotch pancakes, some breakfast biscuits and a class of milk. This comes in at a whopping 500 calories - more than I ate in the entire day yesterday. At work all I can think about is food and I start planning my lunch from 9.01am. I get home at 1pm and I cook 100 grams of pasta and add 3 tablespoons of tomato pasata and 15g of cheese. I also cook 2 pieces of garlic bread. Lunch is around 600 calories and I'm in physical pain after eating it. I lay on the sofa unable to move because I feel sick from eating so much in one go but all I can think about is something sweet so 30 minutes later I steal one of Rich's cake bars at 135 calories. I don't have any dinner but when I collect Rich from the station at 8pm he says he's hungry. We go to Burger King drive-thru as it's quick and easy. Despite stuffing my face all day long I order a Rodeo Burger for 585 calories and eat it all. I am horrified at how much food I've eaten today and feel disgusted with myself. I can't see how I'm going to lose any weight like this. I feel heavy, fat, depressed and bloated. Total calories for today 1,820.

Friday - fasting

I'm painting the meeting room at work today. I have no breakfast again but I feel great all morning, full of energy and able to climb up and down step ladders without any trouble. I go straight to the shopping centre after work to buy a book. As I walk past Boots I have to fight the the urge to throw-up because of the smell of cosmetics wafting out the door. I realise I should have eaten before going. I go to bed when I get home for a nap without eating. I don't get hungry at all today. I have some breakfast biscuits at 6pm. An hour later I have a Babybel and a banana. I have a shot of Malibu as well. Total calories for today is under 400.

Saturday and Sunday - feeding

I didn't really calorie count at the weekend. I just ate whenever I was hungry.

On Saturday I had some Philadelphia Light Garlic & Herbs with some crackers and 3 mini Twix bites (about 1 side of a normal Twix) at lunch time. For our dinner I want to use up some of the random bits and pieces in the fridge so I grill some sausages and cut them up really fine. I mix them with pasta, pasata and cheese. I also have a tiny chunk of garlic tear and share bread. Oh, and 2 slices of halloumi. Later on I have a caramel shortbread.

On Sunday I have a slice of white bread with a very thin spread of smooth peanut butter for breakfast. Between 10am and 6pm I have 2 Oreo cookies and an Oreo Truffle, nothing else. I then have more Philadelphia and crackers. I'm still hungry an hour later though so I have a plain wrap and a banana. I also have a (hefty) shot of Malibu.

THE WEIGH IN - EEK

I think about all the terrible food I've eaten this week. Chocolate, bread, peanut butter, a packet of Wotsits, a burger, cheese, pasta etc. I am appalled at how much junk I've eaten and I'm convinced I can't have lost any weight having had all that crap. I can imagine the renal dietician having a fit over the lack of fruit and vegetables and I cringe at the thought.

To my amazement when I step on the scales I've lost 2.6lbs - over a kilo. The fact I usually struggle to lose even 1lb a week makes this a small miracle.

I haven't felt dizzy once. I've kept a very close eye on my blood sugar levels and every time I've tested them they are well within the healthy recommendations of between 5 and 7. I've not experienced any headaches and aside from being a bit scatty and almost being sick outside Boots I've felt ok all week. On my fasting days I've cooked dinner for Rich and haven't once been tempted to snaffle a mouthful or steal a bit.


Overall, I've loved this diet but I think it encourages you to eat junk on your days off. There isn't a single vegetable on my entire weekly intake and that is simply not good enough. I don't especially like vegetables anyway but I can certainly make more of an effort to include them. Now that I've had a week on the diet I know what to expect so I can make adjustments accordingly.

I will continue with the diet for the planned 3 week period and I'm seriously considering keeping it up for the rest of the year.