If I'm not happy with something, I will let it be known. I'm not prepared to suffer in silence, especially when it comes to customer service, and I'm not going to lower my standards because somebody else refuses to raise theirs. Over the years I have honed my complaining skills into something of an art form. I've received free phones, meals, vouchers, products, upgrades and refunds.
My first job was working in a sandwich shop at the tender age of 15. I was paid £3 an hour and after my shift on a Saturday the £27 I clutched in my coronation chicken stained hands may as well have been a million pounds. The shop in question was, and still is, a popular independent store in the town centre. When I got the job I was told in no uncertain terms that the customers pay my wages and they were to be kept happy. No customers = no business = no job. It's a viewpoint that has stayed with me my entire working life whether in the sandwich shop, in law firms or where I am now. Apart from when I was at the NHS, any role I've had has involved some kind of client liaison either on the phone or in person.
The problem is that very few people seem to care about how customers are treated these days and it feels as though every few weeks I'm complaining about something not being right. From surly staff and poorly cooked food through to faulty goods and incorrect orders - it's all been going wrong.
I'd like to point out that I don't complain at the drop of a hat, there are rules. Making a fuss over something the staff have no control over is ridiculous. I remember a woman going mental in New Look because there weren't any changing rooms available. I'm not sure what she wanted the girl at the door to do, she could hardly kick someone out. Equally it's worth remembering that floor staff have no say over stock or prices. Raging at a 16 year old Saturday girl in a supermarket because they haven't got your favourite cheese just exposes you as being a jerk. Also, everyone is entitled to a bad day. Nobody is perfect and you have to cut people some slack. I make mistakes at work as I'm sure you do too so it's unrealistic to expect someone to be perfect all the time.
To make a good complaint you need to explain how the company has upset you (i.e rude desk staff), why it has upset you (i.e loyal customer) and what you had to do to fix it (i.e go elsewhere). You need to be calm and polite because it's likely that the person you're speaking to or writing to had nothing to do with the incident and you need to stick to the facts. Don't bring up stories you've heard from other people because they have no bearing on your experience that day. It's best to put things in writing because you have a record of what you've said and it's easy for things to get heated on the phone.
I also believe it's important to praise people when they do something right rather than always focusing on the negative aspects. It was a while ago but in December I went to the MAC counter in Beales in Bournemouth with my mum as she was going to kit me out with new make-up for Christmas now that I had a healthy glow again. The man who did my make-up was fantastic. He was friendly, professional and obviously had a vast knowledge of the products he was using and selling. I wrote to MAC and to the store to thank them for the great experience and to let them know they had such a wonderful member of staff. I received two nice letters back and MAC also sent me a free limited edition lipstick, lip pen, lip glass and make up bag just because I'd taken the time to send them some positive feedback.
If you complain to a company and they try to fix it, you should let them know whether it worked. A couple of months ago we tried to visit a chain restaurant for breakfast but they weren't open despite what their website said. I wrote to highlight this and was given a £30 voucher as an apology. We used the money, had a lovely meal and decided that it had obviously been a one-off hiccup and we would be returning. I wrote back to them and explained how nice the waitress had been and that we'd enjoyed our food so we would be repeat customers. You have to give credit where it's due.
I think it boils down to this, you are entitled to expect the service and goods that you are paying for. It's your hard earned money and you shouldn't have to part with it for something you aren't satisfied with. I had a meal at Frankie & Benny's recently and it was awful. I asked for no tomato but they made it without mayo instead and left all the tomatoes in. I told the waitress but also said it was ok as I'd take them out myself but then I found a large piece of fryer detritus on my plate. I informed the manager that it wasn't the standard I expected and I wouldn't be finishing or paying for my food. She agreed and it wasn't a problem.
If you're not happy with something you have to let them know. Without you they wouldn't have a business and it's up to them to fix it. We're told from a young age that we should treat others as we want them to treat us and it's the same for customer service. They should treat us the way they would want to be treated in another store.
People are spending less and less at the moment and I know that I'm not parting with my cash if I'm not 100% happy with what I'm buying. Settling for second rate service and goods should no longer be an option for us consumers.
Or perhaps my expectations are too high. Maybe I'll have to change my name to Romoany in honour of all moaning. What do you think? Are customers being taken for granted or am I just unlucky?
Friday 31 August 2012
Wednesday 22 August 2012
Barren Karen - No kids for me.
I DO NOT WANT CHILDREN
There. I've said it.
This statement is usually met in one of two ways. Either people look at me like I'm some kind of freak with two heads and a tail or they smile knowingly and say that I'm young and will change my mind.
I don't and I won't.
The people who have a problem with this tend to be parents. If you are a parent and you're reading, please know this - your kids are awesome. Even when they're having a tantrum in the supermarket, drawing all over their siblings with permanent marker or shaving the dog. Your decision to procreate has no impact on my life so my decision not to procreate should have no impact on your life. Just as I respect your choice, you should respect mine.
I have two very good reasons for not wanting kids. The first is for medical reasons and the second is that I know I'd be a terrible parent.
My kidney disease is hereditary. Except actually it isn't. Confusing? Yes. I have kidney problems because of a genetic mutation that occurred when I was a teeny tiny foetus. Think X-Men except rather than shooting lasers from my eyes or controlling the weather, my kidneys don't work. But now that I have the rogue gene there is a 50/50 chance of me passing it on to any children I have. The gene can't be dormant, if you carry it then you have symptoms. This is how we know mine is a genetic mutation because there is no history of renal disease in my family so it's not something my mum or dad have passed on to me.
It's at this point that people usually jump in with extremely helpful (*cough*) advice such as "every baby has a chance of something being wrong with it, you won't know until you try". This is very true. Every foetus has the chance of developing some kind of fault whether it's a hole in the heart or a cleft pallet. There is also the chance of disabilities and other diseases. But the odds are usually very long and in your favour. My odds are 50/50. Toss a coin - heads your baby is born with a life threatening illness, tails it isn't. Still fancy those odds?
I've seen my mum go through hell watching me almost die several times and it was her gift of a kidney transplant that saved my life (well, for a while at least). If I have kids it will be entirely my fault that they are ill and I won't be able to do a single thing to help.
I would make a terrible mum. I don't like being outside - beaches and parks are my idea of a living hell. I can't stand noise or mess, I lack even a small amount of patience and I'm neurotic at the best of times. Any child of mine would spend its life indoors watching tv and that is no life to lead.
Then there's the money aspect. Call me a judgmental snob, I really don't care, but if you have kids without the means to support them then you are scum. I don't mean people who fall on hard times, I mean the ones that decide to have kids as a way to get a flat and an income. Once we buy a house next year we will have to be frugal to ensure that we can provide for ourselves, let alone providing for a baby.
I've never been maternal in any way. My friends would always coo over a baby in the street but I wasn't remotely bothered. I've never once said that I wanted children and when I was diagnosed with renal problems at the age of 19 and I found out the odds of passing it on, it validated my decision. Rich has made no secret of his wish to remain childless too. My friends have been having kids for the best part of a decade and whilst I love all of their children, not once have I looked at any them and thought "I wish you were mine".
On medical grounds alone I have good enough reasons for not having children but I'm constantly surprised at how many people disagree. I've spoken to numerous doctors and the renal psychologist and they all wholeheartedly agree with my decision, not just for the health of any potential child but for my own health too. Add to that my hatred of the outdoors and inability to provide support and I find it hard to see how anyone could come to a different conclusion yet they continue to do so.
I'm often asked why we don't consider about adoption if I don't want to pass on an illness to natural children. It goes back to the fundamental basis that we do not actually want any kids.
It's 2012. We as a species can have happy, loving same sex or inter-racial relationships that are only frowned upon by sad, uneducated bigots. So why can't two people decide that they are happy with each other and leave it at that? Why does society gasp in horror and consider a woman to be a failure if she doesn't pop out a few sprogs?
I've been told by earth mother types that it's my responsibility as a woman to produce children. Really? I'd have thought it was more of a responsibility to ensure that any kids are healthy and well looked after but obviously not. I've been accused of being selfish because I'm an only child and am therefore depriving my mum of becoming a grandmother. Yes, because what my mum needs instead of just one loved one slowly dying from an incurable disease is two loved ones dying the same way. My grandfather died from lung cancer when my mum was 14 and my grandmother committed suicide when my mum was 16. She has often expressed how hard it is to grow up without one or both your parents and that's exactly the risk I'd be putting on my kids. And yes, any one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow but dying in a freak accident is not the same as dying from a life threatening illness that is systematically destroying your body.
So please, society - let me carry on the way I am. What I'm doing isn't hurting you in any way so stop pushing your ridiculous ideals on me.
And as for you, Mr Stork - well you can just shoo and be on your way!
There. I've said it.
This statement is usually met in one of two ways. Either people look at me like I'm some kind of freak with two heads and a tail or they smile knowingly and say that I'm young and will change my mind.
I don't and I won't.
The people who have a problem with this tend to be parents. If you are a parent and you're reading, please know this - your kids are awesome. Even when they're having a tantrum in the supermarket, drawing all over their siblings with permanent marker or shaving the dog. Your decision to procreate has no impact on my life so my decision not to procreate should have no impact on your life. Just as I respect your choice, you should respect mine.
I have two very good reasons for not wanting kids. The first is for medical reasons and the second is that I know I'd be a terrible parent.
My kidney disease is hereditary. Except actually it isn't. Confusing? Yes. I have kidney problems because of a genetic mutation that occurred when I was a teeny tiny foetus. Think X-Men except rather than shooting lasers from my eyes or controlling the weather, my kidneys don't work. But now that I have the rogue gene there is a 50/50 chance of me passing it on to any children I have. The gene can't be dormant, if you carry it then you have symptoms. This is how we know mine is a genetic mutation because there is no history of renal disease in my family so it's not something my mum or dad have passed on to me.
It's at this point that people usually jump in with extremely helpful (*cough*) advice such as "every baby has a chance of something being wrong with it, you won't know until you try". This is very true. Every foetus has the chance of developing some kind of fault whether it's a hole in the heart or a cleft pallet. There is also the chance of disabilities and other diseases. But the odds are usually very long and in your favour. My odds are 50/50. Toss a coin - heads your baby is born with a life threatening illness, tails it isn't. Still fancy those odds?
I've seen my mum go through hell watching me almost die several times and it was her gift of a kidney transplant that saved my life (well, for a while at least). If I have kids it will be entirely my fault that they are ill and I won't be able to do a single thing to help.
I would make a terrible mum. I don't like being outside - beaches and parks are my idea of a living hell. I can't stand noise or mess, I lack even a small amount of patience and I'm neurotic at the best of times. Any child of mine would spend its life indoors watching tv and that is no life to lead.
Then there's the money aspect. Call me a judgmental snob, I really don't care, but if you have kids without the means to support them then you are scum. I don't mean people who fall on hard times, I mean the ones that decide to have kids as a way to get a flat and an income. Once we buy a house next year we will have to be frugal to ensure that we can provide for ourselves, let alone providing for a baby.
I've never been maternal in any way. My friends would always coo over a baby in the street but I wasn't remotely bothered. I've never once said that I wanted children and when I was diagnosed with renal problems at the age of 19 and I found out the odds of passing it on, it validated my decision. Rich has made no secret of his wish to remain childless too. My friends have been having kids for the best part of a decade and whilst I love all of their children, not once have I looked at any them and thought "I wish you were mine".
On medical grounds alone I have good enough reasons for not having children but I'm constantly surprised at how many people disagree. I've spoken to numerous doctors and the renal psychologist and they all wholeheartedly agree with my decision, not just for the health of any potential child but for my own health too. Add to that my hatred of the outdoors and inability to provide support and I find it hard to see how anyone could come to a different conclusion yet they continue to do so.
I'm often asked why we don't consider about adoption if I don't want to pass on an illness to natural children. It goes back to the fundamental basis that we do not actually want any kids.
It's 2012. We as a species can have happy, loving same sex or inter-racial relationships that are only frowned upon by sad, uneducated bigots. So why can't two people decide that they are happy with each other and leave it at that? Why does society gasp in horror and consider a woman to be a failure if she doesn't pop out a few sprogs?
I've been told by earth mother types that it's my responsibility as a woman to produce children. Really? I'd have thought it was more of a responsibility to ensure that any kids are healthy and well looked after but obviously not. I've been accused of being selfish because I'm an only child and am therefore depriving my mum of becoming a grandmother. Yes, because what my mum needs instead of just one loved one slowly dying from an incurable disease is two loved ones dying the same way. My grandfather died from lung cancer when my mum was 14 and my grandmother committed suicide when my mum was 16. She has often expressed how hard it is to grow up without one or both your parents and that's exactly the risk I'd be putting on my kids. And yes, any one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow but dying in a freak accident is not the same as dying from a life threatening illness that is systematically destroying your body.
So please, society - let me carry on the way I am. What I'm doing isn't hurting you in any way so stop pushing your ridiculous ideals on me.
And as for you, Mr Stork - well you can just shoo and be on your way!
Friday 10 August 2012
A bitter defeat for a nation but a triumph for Team GB
If you read my recent blog or if you follow me on Twitter you will know that I've been bitten by the Olympics bug. Hard.
At the time of writing Great Britain are third in the medal table with 25 Gold, 15 Silver and 16 Bronze totaling 56 medals. There is every chance that by the time I finish this blog, the haul will have increased.
Over the past two weeks I have cheered for athletes in sports I didn't even know existed. I have screamed "COME ON TEAM GB" so many times I'm convinced my dog now thinks his name is Team GB. I've cried so many times I'm beginning to fear for my tear ducts.
The support for Team GB from the vast majority of the country has been brilliant. Everyone has been blown away by how spectacular our athletes are. Apart from a sour faced few.
I've been so disappointed by some of the spiteful, negative and downright nasty things I have read or heard. At the end of the first couple days Twitter was awash with people asking where all the medals from our supposed "Greatest Ever Team" were. I don't suppose the idea of giving them a chance to get going ever occurred to them. I'm pleased these people have been forced to eat their words after we've held a top three position for so long.
The fact somebody felt the need to spray graffiti on the post box painted gold in honour of Jessica Ennis is pathetic.
Someone I follow on Twitter has been commenting on our lack of runners in the track events asking why we aren't able to provide winners rather than just making up the numbers. I guess a gold medal from Mo Farah and a silver from Christine Ohuruogu aren't good enough. Dai Green and Lawrence Clarke were the only European men to reach the 400m and 110m hurdles finals respectively. They faced off against athletes from USA, Jamaica, Trinidad & Tobago, Puerto Rico, South Africa, Barbados and Cuba. Both came 4th in their events which I class as a tremendous achievement.
You don't see Kenya or Jamaica competing in the cycling events. China didn't compete in football, handball or equestrianism. It's important to recognise your strengths and weaknesses. The fact we have athletes who can "make up the numbers" should be celebrated.
We made history yesterday. Nicola Adams became the first female boxer EVER to win a gold medal at the Olympics. Our cyclists broke world records one after another. Our male gymnasts won a team medal for the first time in 100 years, the last time Great Britain won, the rope climb was still an event! Jade Jones is the first woman to win a gold medal for Great Britain in taekwondo. Doesn't that count for anything? Can't we focus on the positives rather than obsessing on the negatives?
We can't win everything nor can we be good at everything.
It's worth noting that the only two nations ahead of us, China and USA, have sports that they falter in. China could only manage 46th and 50th place in the men's and women's Triathlon. Their only Tennis success was the women's doubles reaching the quarter finals. Their men failed to get out of the heats in every single track event apart from the Race Walk. USA couldn't get out of the group stage in Badminton, their Canoeists didn't make a single final and they finished in 11th place for the Synchronised Swimming. Only one male boxer got to the quarter finals, the other 8 competitors were out before then.
Both of those countries have populations and funding budgets that dwarf our own. If they can't deliver in every sport, why should we expect ourselves to? Obviously yes, it would be nice if we could be seen as medal contenders in every sport but it's not going to happen.
I've seen people insult Phillips Idowu for not qualifying for the triple jump final. We all have bad days. Michael Phelps didn't win all the golds he was expected to and Victoria Pendleton was disqualified from a cycling event. It happens. I can't imagine training for FOUR YEARS only to go out without even getting a chance to shine.
I was appalled to hear people I respect actually defend the teenager who sent Tom Daley vile messages on Twitter. "Oh he should have just ignored it" "He didn't have to retweet it" "It's his own fault it escalated" "I can't believe he got arrested, whatever happened to free speech?". Why should he have ignored it? At school we're told to alert parents and teachers to bullies, why should he ignore it because it's online. People defending his right to free speech obviously didn't read the rest of his messages. He used racist language, has threatened to kill several other users including Tom, promised violence to others, pretended his mum was dead and told one girl he hoped she got raped. Yes, free speech is important but anyone with an ounce of sense can see that his messages go beyond that. Cyber bullying is a huge topic at the moment and there are a heartbreaking number of stories about kids committing suicide because of it.
We live in a country where people would rather stand up for an attention seeking teen than one of our athletes and that saddens me. Tom Daley had to drop out of school and find a new one after competing in the Beijing Olympics because of bullies. He should have been able to get on with preparing for his next round of diving, not having to deal with death threats and idle abuse.
I hate sport. I would rather miss the train than even briskly walk let alone run to catch it but I have been enthralled by the wonderful men and women who have competed for us. A bit of constructive criticism is a good thing but slagging off our athletes isn't necessary. We should be behind them, cheering them on - not sat on our computers thinking of all the faults we can point out and dishing out insults.
We got one gold medal in the 1996 Olympics. One. A solitary, lonesome gold. Thanks to an increase in funding look at where we are today. It's still early days though, we're developing training camps, new regimes and ways of identifying potential athletes. Who is to say that in Rio or in 2020 we won't be better than we are today. Even if we don't beat our 2012 total, I know I will still be proud to say that I support Team GB.
**EDIT**
This tweet has pissed me off and it's a good example of the negative attitude some people are tragically bestowed with.
"62 million people in the UK and we have nobody who can throw a javelin over 80 metres! A sad fact actually."
NOT A SAD FACT. There are 1.3 BILLION people in China and they couldn't do it either. They threw almost 2 metres less than we did. This whinging is being done on the night Mo Farah won his second gold medal. I suppose some people are never satisfied.
At the time of writing Great Britain are third in the medal table with 25 Gold, 15 Silver and 16 Bronze totaling 56 medals. There is every chance that by the time I finish this blog, the haul will have increased.
Over the past two weeks I have cheered for athletes in sports I didn't even know existed. I have screamed "COME ON TEAM GB" so many times I'm convinced my dog now thinks his name is Team GB. I've cried so many times I'm beginning to fear for my tear ducts.
The support for Team GB from the vast majority of the country has been brilliant. Everyone has been blown away by how spectacular our athletes are. Apart from a sour faced few.
I've been so disappointed by some of the spiteful, negative and downright nasty things I have read or heard. At the end of the first couple days Twitter was awash with people asking where all the medals from our supposed "Greatest Ever Team" were. I don't suppose the idea of giving them a chance to get going ever occurred to them. I'm pleased these people have been forced to eat their words after we've held a top three position for so long.
The fact somebody felt the need to spray graffiti on the post box painted gold in honour of Jessica Ennis is pathetic.
Someone I follow on Twitter has been commenting on our lack of runners in the track events asking why we aren't able to provide winners rather than just making up the numbers. I guess a gold medal from Mo Farah and a silver from Christine Ohuruogu aren't good enough. Dai Green and Lawrence Clarke were the only European men to reach the 400m and 110m hurdles finals respectively. They faced off against athletes from USA, Jamaica, Trinidad & Tobago, Puerto Rico, South Africa, Barbados and Cuba. Both came 4th in their events which I class as a tremendous achievement.
You don't see Kenya or Jamaica competing in the cycling events. China didn't compete in football, handball or equestrianism. It's important to recognise your strengths and weaknesses. The fact we have athletes who can "make up the numbers" should be celebrated.
We made history yesterday. Nicola Adams became the first female boxer EVER to win a gold medal at the Olympics. Our cyclists broke world records one after another. Our male gymnasts won a team medal for the first time in 100 years, the last time Great Britain won, the rope climb was still an event! Jade Jones is the first woman to win a gold medal for Great Britain in taekwondo. Doesn't that count for anything? Can't we focus on the positives rather than obsessing on the negatives?
We can't win everything nor can we be good at everything.
It's worth noting that the only two nations ahead of us, China and USA, have sports that they falter in. China could only manage 46th and 50th place in the men's and women's Triathlon. Their only Tennis success was the women's doubles reaching the quarter finals. Their men failed to get out of the heats in every single track event apart from the Race Walk. USA couldn't get out of the group stage in Badminton, their Canoeists didn't make a single final and they finished in 11th place for the Synchronised Swimming. Only one male boxer got to the quarter finals, the other 8 competitors were out before then.
Both of those countries have populations and funding budgets that dwarf our own. If they can't deliver in every sport, why should we expect ourselves to? Obviously yes, it would be nice if we could be seen as medal contenders in every sport but it's not going to happen.
I've seen people insult Phillips Idowu for not qualifying for the triple jump final. We all have bad days. Michael Phelps didn't win all the golds he was expected to and Victoria Pendleton was disqualified from a cycling event. It happens. I can't imagine training for FOUR YEARS only to go out without even getting a chance to shine.
I was appalled to hear people I respect actually defend the teenager who sent Tom Daley vile messages on Twitter. "Oh he should have just ignored it" "He didn't have to retweet it" "It's his own fault it escalated" "I can't believe he got arrested, whatever happened to free speech?". Why should he have ignored it? At school we're told to alert parents and teachers to bullies, why should he ignore it because it's online. People defending his right to free speech obviously didn't read the rest of his messages. He used racist language, has threatened to kill several other users including Tom, promised violence to others, pretended his mum was dead and told one girl he hoped she got raped. Yes, free speech is important but anyone with an ounce of sense can see that his messages go beyond that. Cyber bullying is a huge topic at the moment and there are a heartbreaking number of stories about kids committing suicide because of it.
We live in a country where people would rather stand up for an attention seeking teen than one of our athletes and that saddens me. Tom Daley had to drop out of school and find a new one after competing in the Beijing Olympics because of bullies. He should have been able to get on with preparing for his next round of diving, not having to deal with death threats and idle abuse.
I hate sport. I would rather miss the train than even briskly walk let alone run to catch it but I have been enthralled by the wonderful men and women who have competed for us. A bit of constructive criticism is a good thing but slagging off our athletes isn't necessary. We should be behind them, cheering them on - not sat on our computers thinking of all the faults we can point out and dishing out insults.
We got one gold medal in the 1996 Olympics. One. A solitary, lonesome gold. Thanks to an increase in funding look at where we are today. It's still early days though, we're developing training camps, new regimes and ways of identifying potential athletes. Who is to say that in Rio or in 2020 we won't be better than we are today. Even if we don't beat our 2012 total, I know I will still be proud to say that I support Team GB.
**EDIT**
This tweet has pissed me off and it's a good example of the negative attitude some people are tragically bestowed with.
"62 million people in the UK and we have nobody who can throw a javelin over 80 metres! A sad fact actually."
NOT A SAD FACT. There are 1.3 BILLION people in China and they couldn't do it either. They threw almost 2 metres less than we did. This whinging is being done on the night Mo Farah won his second gold medal. I suppose some people are never satisfied.
Tuesday 7 August 2012
The Weighting Game
I'm writing about this subject because it's been bothering me for quite some time now. It's not about putting people down or making comments on weight or beauty, it's about how I feel.
Anyone who spends a lot of time on the internet or reading magazines and newspapers will know that at the moment the topic of photoshopping and airbrushing models is a hot one. Teenagers are rebelling against Teen Vogue, H&M has been ridiculed on several occasions and Victoria's Secret seem to be doing their best to make their beautiful models look as alien as possible.
At the grand old age of 27 I've gone past caring what people in magazines look like. I'm not fooled by Kerry Katona posing in a bikini, I know she's popped out a million kids and has a tummy covered in stretch marks. I know full well that the pictures I'm seeing in glossy mags have been airbrushed to the point of fiction. They'd be more believable if they mocked up a CGI version of the celebrity with all their flaws removed and published that instead. Madonna has wrinkles, Britney Spears has cellulite and Katy Perry gets acne. They are all as human as the rest of us. I'm thankful that I am able to differentiate between what is reality and what has been edited, if I were in my teens constantly surrounded by perfection I'd be a nervous wreck and full of self doubt.
What REALLY gets to me is women who lie about their size. I'm sick to death of hearing plump celebrities drone on about how happy they are with their curvy bodies only for them to falsify the tag in their clothing. Nothing says radiating confidence than pretending to be smaller than you are.
All these women claim to be a British size 16.
Anyone who spends a lot of time on the internet or reading magazines and newspapers will know that at the moment the topic of photoshopping and airbrushing models is a hot one. Teenagers are rebelling against Teen Vogue, H&M has been ridiculed on several occasions and Victoria's Secret seem to be doing their best to make their beautiful models look as alien as possible.
At the grand old age of 27 I've gone past caring what people in magazines look like. I'm not fooled by Kerry Katona posing in a bikini, I know she's popped out a million kids and has a tummy covered in stretch marks. I know full well that the pictures I'm seeing in glossy mags have been airbrushed to the point of fiction. They'd be more believable if they mocked up a CGI version of the celebrity with all their flaws removed and published that instead. Madonna has wrinkles, Britney Spears has cellulite and Katy Perry gets acne. They are all as human as the rest of us. I'm thankful that I am able to differentiate between what is reality and what has been edited, if I were in my teens constantly surrounded by perfection I'd be a nervous wreck and full of self doubt.
What REALLY gets to me is women who lie about their size. I'm sick to death of hearing plump celebrities drone on about how happy they are with their curvy bodies only for them to falsify the tag in their clothing. Nothing says radiating confidence than pretending to be smaller than you are.
All these women claim to be a British size 16.
Admittedly the Boux Avenue underwear model has the benefit of good lighting and airbrushing and the two girls wearing white have been giving the opportunity to pose but as you can see, they're all of very different body shapes.
Weight doesn't really factor into dress sizes. Obviously if you weigh 30 stone you won't be a size 8 but we all know muscle weighs more than fat and then you have to factor in height, bust size and bone structure. At the time these photos were taken the girl in the middle on the bottom row (Holly from Geordie Shore) weighed 13 stone. The girl wearing white in the photo next to her weighed 17 stone.
My point is that while we all bang on about how terrible air brushing is, isn't it just as damaging to give a false perception of size? I would bet all the money in my bank account on the woman in the top right photo being a size 20 rather than a 16 especially when you compare her to other people in that size bracket. If she's happy with herself then fine, this isn't an attack on her appearance. However, if a person lacking in confidence or someone full of self loathing who IS a size 16 sees that photo and translates it to her looking the same, isn't that just as bad as airbrushing out some flaws? Despite her tweets confirming that her grey jeans have 16 in the label, I still don't believe Claire from Steps and would put her at a size 18. I also can't help but feel that the underwear model is smaller than advertised. Her hips look wider than the standard cut out model but I'm sure she could fit into a size 12 top and I don't think a 14 dress would be much of a squeeze. Perhaps it's a ruse by the brand to appeal to the often talked about "Real Women With Curves". In my eyes, Holly and the girl and in the white dress give a pretty fair representation about what a size 16 looks like.
Why am I so bothered by this? I am a size 16. I've also never been so insecure. After having my transplant I was put on a hefty dose of a steroid called Prednisolone. It actively encourages weight gain to the face (known as Moon Face) and to the stomach area. I know several recent transplant recipients and without exception they despise Prednisolone because it ruins your body. I put on a whopping 3 stone in 4 months. I was, to put it bluntly, HUGE. I've lost 2 stone but it still hasn't shifted from my middle so I wear a size 16. When I saw the photo of the woman on the top right I was horrified and thought OH MY GOD IS THAT WHAT I LOOK LIKE? I sent it to my friend with strict instructions to brutally tell me how close to her size I am. I have scars on my mid-section from three operations that tot up to a length of 100 centimetres. Yep, a whole metre. Add that to my dress size and it's fair to say that my body issues are excessive. My friend replied by telling me not to be so stupid because I was nowhere near as big as the woman in the photo but I had that period of panic between sending the message and getting a response.
I've been collating responses to the question "how do you feel about women who lie about their size" from people on Twitter and from my friends and colleagues. Most people felt it insulted their intelligence, others said it was pathetic and tragic. The false perception of size issue was brought up as was the hypocrisy of saying you're happy with yourself in one breath and then lying in the next. One person said it didn't bother her but she also felt that might be because of her age. One lady, who is 57, said "Let them get on with it. If they want to lie to themselves and look like fat idiots then let them". The fact is, aside from one person, dropping a dress size or two when discussing your image bothered everyone.
Girls, there is nothing wrong with being larger than a size 12. The national average is a size 16. If you're happy and confident with yourself then what's the problem? Anyone overweight thinks that being a size 8 will solve all their problems but it won't. You'll still be skint, your boss will still be a moron and the world will continue turning. I've been rich and poor, fat and thin, healthy and sick and I've learned the only thing that really matters is trying to find a way to be happy in the middle of it all. If you're lying to yourself about being something you're not then you never will be happy. The fact is, saying you're a size 16 when you're really an 18 or a 20 is only going to cause people to laugh, pity or talk about you. Being honest wouldn't get half the reaction that a lie does.
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