Twitter Secret Santa 2013

----------UPDATE----------

The following people have contacted me to say they want to take part in Secret Santa:

sophnina - address, likes/dislikes received
xmjox - address, likes/dislikes received
BonnieYork - address, likes/dislikes received
_MissH_x - address, likes/dislikes received
ladykrw - address, likes/dislikes received
kerrieout - address, likes/dislikes received
tattooedrich - address, likes/dislikes received
lilliesandlove - address, likes/dislikes received
mitch_uk - address, likes/dislikes received
romanyscarlett (obviously!) - address, likes/dislikes received
ogormless - address, likes and dislikes received
scooshmeister - address, likes and dislikes received
georgioies - address, likes and dislikes received
rachel_2407 - address, likes and dislikes received
sazzlejay - address, likes and dislikes received
charleynew - address, likes and dislikes received
princesspea79 - address, likes and dislikes received
chellington26 - address, likes and dislikes received

If your name is not listed here and you want to take part please tell me so I can add you. If you've not given me your address/likes/dislikes please can you do so whenever you get a chance. If you took part last year and want to use the same address/likes/dislikes then that's fine but please let me know. You have until 1st November to register your participation and send me your information.

The original blog can be read below.

----------UPDATE ENDS----------

ERMAGHAD IT'S ONLY OCTOBER! CHRISTMAS IS MILES AWAY!

There you go, I saved you trouble of saying it.

I'm going back to work full time this month so I'm pre-empting my impending doom being very busy by getting started now. I will be running this event again but I'll be doing things a little bit differently, especially in terms of the postage, but the £5 limit will remain the same.

Last year a present went missing because Royal Mail delivered it to the wrong address a few doors away from the intended destination. Instead of doing the sensible and normal thing of taking it to the correct property in the street the residents decided to return it as "not known at this address". Obviously since the Santa is supposed to remain secret, there was no return address on the package. Nobody was aware that it had gone astray so nobody was able to contact Royal Mail and it is presumed to have been destroyed. This is especially sad because the gift was a beautiful handmade Christmas wreath so congratulations to Royal Mail for their inability to read addresses and an even bigger congratulations to the residents of that property for being asshole scrooges.

Another gift went missing and there is no news on where it ended up so that is presumed stolen or destroyed. Due to these events, this time round I will need you tell me when you've posted your gift so I can tell the recipient that it's on the way and the recipient can tell me when it arrives. This means that if it goes astray we'll know about it. I'm also enforcing a tracked post rule. It obviously means postage will be a little bit more expensive but I would suggest using Second Class Signed For rather than First Class Standard. I've compared the prices and it works out as roughly an extra 70p-80p to do this. As an example a small parcel weighing less than 1kg sent by standard First Class costs £3 and the same parcel sent by Second Class Signed For costs £3.70 but postage will of course depend on size and weight. You'll have the peace of mind of being able to track your item and it will also be insured against loss. As the name would suggest, the Signed For service requires a signature so if you're not at home at the time of delivery you'll get one of those little cards telling you to either pick it up from the local sorting office or telephone to rearrange delivery. If the thought of one these cards fills you with dread you could use a work/friend/parents address instead.

I will be accepting participation requests from now until 1st November and I will draw the names on Saturday 2nd November. I'll follow the same process as last year: you'll need to DM me your address and list of likes/dislikes in advance of 1st November and on 2nd November I will send you a DM with the name, address and likes/dislikes of who you are purchasing for.

ERMAGHAD NOVEMBER 2ND IS SO LONG BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

Saved you the trouble of saying that too.

Another thing I'm changing this year is the postage date. Last year the final posting date was 14th December which caused its own set of issues because of parcels getting caught up in the Christmas post and not arriving until Christimas Eve by which point people had left to go back to their home towns for the holidays. This year I'm going to say that Monday 9th December is the final posting deadline - a week earlier than last year. This gives a full fortnight for delivery. Due to this I'm picking the names a bit earlier so everyone has ample time to buy their gifts.

I know it's loads of rules but it should mean that nobody ends up disappointed this year. It was so much fun last year and everyone taking part ended up following each other so lots of new friendships were made.

As a TLDR of the rules:

Send me a DM with your name, address and likes/dislikes by 1st November
Receive the name, address and likes/dislikes of the person you're buying for on 2nd November
Buy a present for £5
Post by Second Class Recorded prior to Monday 9th December
Let me know when you've sent it
Let me know when you've received your gift

Anyway, here is last year's blog about the whole process and if you've got any comments or suggestions, please let me know!

PS. I'd love it if this year everyone would send me a picture of their presents so I can do a follow up blog about it all.

Say NO to food snobbery

I will be the first to admit that I have been rather unkind in the past about other peoples cooking habits. One particular incident that springs to mind was someone posting a Facebook status about how they'd made their own crumble topping and that they were really proud not to have used a packet. I made a sarcastic comment about rubbing together flour, butter and sugar being easier than opening a packet and then I headed over to the safety of Twitter to cast disparaging comments about people who open a jar of pasta sauce and then mistakenly claim to have cooked from scratch.

It was cruel and uncalled for and from now on I'm making a stand. I will be saying NO to food snobbery. It's gone too far and people are trying to outdo each other at every turn. From gloating over finding a grocer who sells vegetables harvested under the shadow of the third phase of the moon to only buying meat from a butcher who has personally hand reared each animal from birth on a diet of classical musical and unicorn tears. Food snobbery is ruddy everywhere, it's even being used against something as beautiful as chocolate.

"I love chocolate"
"Me too"
"It has to be the proper stuff though"
"Oh absolutely, 70% cocoa for sure"
"Only 70%? I have to have 85% it really makes a difference"
"I've recently been having 90% actually, it's a shame you've not tried it"
"The 90% stuff is ok but if you really want to properly experience chocolate you need to get the 99% pure cacao bar"
"Well funny you should say that, I've been importing cocoa beans and having them raw. You can't beat 100%"

When did it become such a crime to enjoy a bit of Diary Milk or a Twix?

And as for pastry, heaven forbid you should use pre-made. Whenever you watch Come Dine With Me there's always a sanctimonious trout questioning the pastry and down marking if it's not home made. We all know that pastry is easy to make; mix ingredients, rest, roll, done. I've even been to cookery school to learn how to make it but that doesn't mean I'm never going to cheat with a packet especially when it comes to puff pastry. The best restaurants in the world buy their puff pastry ready made and if it's good enough for them then it's certainly good enough for me. It's the gloating that gets me riled up; "Well of course it's home made pastry" and then they act appalled at the idea of someone even suggesting that they would have even allowed a packet of pastry into their house let alone having used it. You made some pastry. Well done. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Don't get me wrong, despite my stand against food snobbery there are certain things I will be unwavering on. I only buy free range eggs and this is something I will never change. I always buy British or Irish meat unless the option isn't there - occasionally I've had to buy Danish bacon and some things are country/region specific such as Parma ham. I know there are British alternatives to Parma ham but unless they have it the supermarket, there isn't a charcuterie for miles and miles so it's not an option.

That point brings me to another bone of contention for food snobs across the land *dramatic music* SUPERMARKETS. Some people seem to be of the opinion that because they avoid supermarkets like the plague they are superior to us lower mortals who visit for our weekly shop. Obviously it's great if you happen to live within a stones throw of a greengrocer, butcher, baker and candlestick maker but most of us don't. I live less than a 5 minute walk from a twice weekly market which features not one but two grocer stalls but I still don't use them. They only sell by the bowl rather than in single units and I simply have no need for an entire bowlful of onions or oranges. I only cook for myself and Rich so if I bought everything by the bowl I'd end up throwing an awful lot away or we'd get bored of eating the same stuff every day. If you've got the time to visit several different independent shops throughout the week then good for you, enjoy it. But there are plenty of people who don't have that option. It may have been a standard way of life a few years ago but with the addition of fridge freezers to every home coupled with microwaves, longer working hours and longer commutes, it's not really practical anymore.

I do believe that home-made tastes better not to mention the sense of achievement and pride you get from starting with lots of separate items and finishing up with something wonderful and delicious. However, if someone wants to buy a jar of ready made pasta sauce for £1 instead of buying some tomatoes, pasata, onion, peppers, garlic and herbs (for obviously a lot more than £1) and stand over a hot stove for ages after a hard day at work, with the kids running around, the dog needing a walk, the house needing a tidy and a mountain of ironing then who am I to judge. Sometimes you just want dinner on the table and if a packet helps you get through the day then it can only be a good thing.

Fizzy Vodka Jellies

Vodka jellies have been my party piece for over a decade now and it goes without saying that if there's a party, instead of bringing a bottle of wine for the host, I'll bring a tray of vodka jelly shots. I've been known as 'vodka jelly girl' for a long, long time and I'm fairly certain that there are a few parties I've been invited to over the years purely because of the jellies.

I've experimented with vodka jellies many times, I made tri-coloured ones that were a huge success but then there was the time I tried to encapsulate jelly babies inside the shots and the less said about that the better. Tomorrow is my mothers annual summer BBQ and I thought that perhaps I'd experiment with the jellies again. When I was a little girl my mum would make me fizzy jelly by replacing half the water with lemonade and I've continued to do this whenever I make jelly at home. So, why not put on my mad scientist hat and make fizzy vodka jellies?!

When I started this project today I wasn't convinced it would work. I've perfected my method (measurements, timing, brands etc) and I was a bit sceptical about changing anything but after trying the finished product, for quality control purposes obviously, I'm thrilled with the results and I can't wait to hand them out tomorrow at the BBQ as they are deliciously tingly and refreshing with just the right kick.

My usual vodka jelly recipe is 250ml hot water and 250ml vodka (they're very potent) poured into shot glasses but I've had to mix up the measurements this time to accommodate the lemonade. If you want to make these fizzy alcoholic jellies, here's the method:

You will need:

A jug
A sachet of sugar free jelly - it MUST be a sachet of powder, the big blocks of jelly don't work properly
Chilled lemonade - I've used diet just because of a personal preference
Vodka
Plastic shot glasses - I got these ones from Poundland
A tray big enough for all your jellies - this makes everything so much easier
Room in the fridge to put the tray
A freshly boiled kettle
A fork

1. Add 100ml of boiling water to your jug
2. SLOWLY sprinkle the jelly sachet into the water stirring all the time with a fork
3. Once all your jelly has dissolved leave the mixture for 5-10mins to cool to room temperature
4. Add 200ml of vodka to the room temperature jelly mix
5. Add 200ml of chilled lemonade to the jelly mix
6. Stir the jelly mix once or twice, don't stir it loads or the lemonade will lose fizz
7. Pour your jelly mix into plastic shot glasses
8. Put the jellies in the fridge until set
9. Eat the jellies and get rascally drunk

I've used a lemon & lime sachet and an orange sachet and I got a full 30 shots out of it.

They don't take long to set at all, I made these at 11am today and they were set at 5pm. Be warned - fizzy jelly, whether alcoholic or not, will go flat after a day or two so don't make it too far in advance. The best way to experience fizzy jelly is to push your tongue through it. I know that sounds weird but you can really feel the bubbles. 

To get the jellies out of the shot glasses you can either tap it on a table to release the sides, use a cocktail stick to run around the edges or grab a spoon. I find that usually a couple of taps is all you need and then the whole shot will slide out. 

If you're wondering why I've said not to use standard blocks of jelly cubes and to only use sachets, it's because the cubes don't dissolve properly in such small amounts of water whereas the powder doesn't have that problem. As for the tray, you can still make the jellies without it but carrying 30 shots over to the fridge without spilling any would be a bit tedious. With a tray you can get them all in at once. 

So there you have it, fizzy vodka jellies. If you make them, I hope you love them as much as I do!

Summer dictators can shove it where the sun doesn't shine!

Are you a summer dictator? Take this easy test to find out.

1. Do you insist that everyone should be outside as soon as the sun comes out?

2. Did you moan about people choosing to stay inside to watch the Wimbledon final instead of going outside?

3. Have you been sunburned already this year? Bonus points if you posted a picture of it to a social networking site with a caption similar to "four hours in the park, look at my tan lines!" or "fell asleep on the beach after too many lagers".

4. Is hayfever 'not a big deal'?

5. On Sunday, despite the south coast being hotter than Peru, Brazil, Egypt and Spain and you living a bit further north where temperatures were at least 5 degrees lower, did you express your disdain at people finding it hard to cope in the heat?

6. Are you confident with your body and do not understand why everyone can't just 'slip into a bikini' or take their t-shirt off to cool down?

7. Do you find it easy to regulate your temperature therefore never having had a panic attack after overheating and finding it hard to breathe?

8. Do you have air conditioning in your bedroom so regardless of the temperature outside you can sleep with ease?

9. Is sunscreen for wimps?

10. Have you been to Iceland and stocked up on disposable barbecues and multiple cheap burger/horsemeat/sausage/chicken combo packs?


If you answered 'yes' to three or more of those questions then CONGRATULATIONS - you are a wanker summer dictator.

Prizes include:

An overwhelming inflated ego
Being a massive bell-end
The personality of a wooden spoon
Dry, peeling skin (bonus points if you burned a mole - who doesn't love skin cancer)
Accelerated ageing process
Dehydration
Sickness and dizzy spells from sunstroke

Enjoy your future.

Have a nice day now!

What Really Grinds My Gears

We've all got our pet hates, things that grind our gears for inexplicable reasons. Things that make us wince, squirm and struggle not to correct. They're usually really simple little things that have absolutely no detrimental effect on our well-being or happiness but yet they they grate like nails on a chalkboard. We know we shouldn't let them bother us but they do and these are mine:

Expresso

I don't even drink coffee so I have no idea why this causes me such pain but every time I hear someone say "expresso" I want to strangle them and scream at them that "IT'S ESPRESSO, NOT EXPRESSO, THERE'S NO X YOU BLOODY MORON". I know I'm not alone in my hatred of mispronunciations, my best friend quit a job once because one of her co-workers pronounced mayonnaise as 'maronnaise' and she just couldn't deal with it any more. Perhaps it's a blessing that I don't like coffee so I don't run the risk of encountering these imbeciles on a regular basis inside coffee shops. 

Dr. Who

I love Doctor Who and it really, really, really grinds my gears when I see it written as Dr Who. It offends me for so many reasons. Firstly, the show is called Doctor Who - it's not called Dr Who. Secondly, it implies his surname is Who. To explain - if I was a doctor I would be Dr Meehan because that's my surname so calling him Dr Who makes his surname Who. Which it isn't. Thirdly, he introduces himself as The Doctor and it's a running theme in that people then say "Doctor? Doctor Who?" because his name isn't Doctor Who and writing it as Dr Who makes it look that way, to me at least. Again, I know I'm not alone in this as it's a common cause for complaint amongst fans of the show. Shouldn't we worry about more important things? We probably should but it won't stop us being irritated by this.

Prom

Proms themselves don't upset me but the way the word is treated like a proper noun does. It's the word 'the' being missing from most sentences involving proms that gets me. People say "It's prom this weekend" or "I don't have a date for prom". I feel like it should be "It's THE prom this weekend" and "I don't have a date for THE prom". If we were going shopping, we wouldn't say "I'm going to shops", we'd say "I'm going to THE shops". A proper noun refers to a unique entity eg a country, person or city. Proms are not unique entities, they're events. We don't say "I'm going to cinema tonight" or "I'm going to concert" we say THE cinema and THE concert. I'm raging just writing this. I hope I've explained it properly because I have to move on before I throw myself and the laptop out the window.

Best/Cutest/Greatest in the WORLD

I feel a bit hypocritical about this one because I've got a photo of Monty in a Facebook album that I've written "the cutest little doggy in the whole wide world" on. To be fair I uploaded that picture before this became a pet hate of mine as it's something that has developed over the past 18 months. But I sure do hate it now. It's such a lame and lazy compliment. It's something people say when they lack any sort of creativity to say something nice about the person they're talking about. Obviously getting a card from your 6 year old kid proclaiming you to be the best parent in the world is a pretty special thing. Getting a card from your 30 year old offspring with the same message is a bit less special. It's such a boring, stealth brag - especially when parents battle it out with other parents on photos of their kids. And don't get me started on "I really do have the best boyfriend/girlfriend in the world" followed by something utterly mundane like "they've hoovered the lounge" or "they've bought me some Malteasers". The fact you can't think of something a bit more creative or nice to say pretty much negates your claim.

That's Tom with a capital T

I've had to save this for last because this is The One. Such a blight on my existence that it makes me want to scream every time I hear it. When someone gives you their email address and they tell you it's all in lower case or that the first initial has to be a capital letter. I have tried my very best to rise above it and to not let it bother me but every attempt has failed. Miserably. It's an unhappy coincidence that for the past 10 years I've been working in offices so I hear this a lot more than any person should ever have to and sometimes it's taken real effort not to correct people. I've had colleagues who, despite me patiently explaining it to them and sending them an email to JoHnSmItH@PrEtEnD.CoM, still insist on specifying that it all has to be lower case. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? IT'S 2013 FOR GOODNESS SAKE! WHY ARE THEY ALLOWED OUT OF THE HOUSE LET ALONE BEING ALLOWED TO USE A COMPUTER?? I've got an eye twitch just from thinking about it. AAAAAARRRRGH!

So those are my top 5 pet hates. I realise they're silly and unimportant and I know there are much bigger things I could spend my energy on but I can't help it, these things get me every time. If you've got something that inexplicably causes you to see the red mist, I'd love to hear what it is! Perhaps it's something I'm guilty of doing in which case - sorry! 

Now, here's some dachshund puppies. Everything is right with the world again.

The Significance of Being Insignificant

Every now and again, no matter how happy you are with your life, you'll experience a short period of time where everything seems to go against you. We've all heard people say that they're having 'the day from hell', a 'bad week' or that 'they've been having a tough time lately'. 

I have a lovely life, usually, and I often can't believe how lucky I am but the past couple of weeks have been rather stressful. We bought our first home a month ago (yay) but we've been having some difficulties with a nearby house being horrible neighbours, work has been incredibly busy and the upstairs flat had a slow leak which lasted almost a full two weeks and caused a lot of damage to our living room. The insurance policy was still in the name of the seller of both ours and the upstairs flat so we weren't able to get it sorted because calling in our own plumber would have invalidated the policy. The upshot is that we, along with the upstairs flat, have to pay hundreds of pounds to a plumber as well as the £300 policy excess but we will eventually be refunded the plumber's fee. Because of this I had to cancel a trip to Manchester for a birthday party as I simply didn't have the money. My reaction to stress is to eat so with all of this going on I'd put on a few pounds. It's fair to say I was feeling very sorry for myself. And then I got the news that an old friend had been murdered.

I won't say it put things into perspective because my mind doesn't work like that. I can't stand this totally bizarre notion that you're never allowed to moan or be upset about anything because someone somewhere has it worse than you. I do believe that you should pick who you moan to and be considerate when sounding off. I know how frustrating it was when I was on dialysis to hear friends complain about trivial things like breaking a nail or forgetting a tv show was on. But if on the basis that somebody out there is suffering more than you so you can't possibly be sad then surely by that reasoning you can never be happy because someone is no doubt in a better situation than you. 

It did however make me think of a personal revelation I had several years ago and no doubt anyone reading this has had this thought at some stage too. One of my close friends had gone into labour at 3.30am and I drove her mum and sister to the hospital. I was on my way home at 5am and although the hospital was on the other side of town I saw barely any other cars on my entire journey. All I could think about was that everyone was asleep but my friend was having a baby. As the whole town appeared to sleep a new life was coming into the world and they had no idea it was happening. I had work that day and it seemed hilarious at the time that in 4 hours I would be at my desk which may as well have been a million miles away. I got to thinking about all the times I'd been doing the laundry or napping and what might have been happening at those exact moments all around the world. Births, deaths, marriages, wars, scientific breakthroughs, great sadness and great happiness. All things I would never know anything about. I'd thought about things like that before but it really hit me that time because I knew something so momentous was happening back at the hospital. 

From then on I've looked at people differently. It's almost as though every person is in the starring role in a film about their life. They're the main character, the one that would be nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars. Their inner circle are the supporting cast and then there's a whole bunch of extras to set the scene. But they also are a supporting actor in the film about another persons life or an extra in the life of someone they pass at the supermarket. We are all at once at the same time both significant and insignificant. It's beautiful and somehow tragic too. 

I've since found out that The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrow had a name for this and it's called "sonder". A definition:

The realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

While I had been going through some personal stresses my friend had been murdered. The tributes that flow in from all the people, whether supporting actors or extras, are like the end credits to the film of his life. Each of those people now have one less character in their own films. Once less friend, one less customer, one less person to walk past in the street. But somewhere, on the other side of the world perhaps, someone is in a state of excited awe that something so wonderful is happening to them right now in this very moment. And you will never know about it. 

Red Nose Day Glossybox Raffle - UPDATED

We have a winner! Emma Mae has won the raffle.

I used the Random Picker website to draw the winner. All names were uploaded and the site does the selection for you. 

Here's an image showing there were 55 entrants, one for each pound donated, as well as confirmation that I couldn't edit the result. 

After a mix up with friends over who was ordering a 3 month subscription for a birthday present, we have ended up with one too many boxes this month. We have therefore decided to raffle the box for Comic Relief.

The box is unopened so we cannot guarantee the exact contents but brands featured this month include Jelly Pong Pong, Juicy Couture, Nails Inc and Monu. You can view the full list of brands and products at the Glossybox website.

The rules and entry are very simple. Entry will cost you £1 but you can purchase additional entries for every £1 you donate. We will pay the postage to a Mainland UK address. The winner will be announced at 10pm on Friday 15th March here and on the sponsorship page.

Normally a single Glossybox would cost £10 with an additional £2.95 postage so for a small £1 donation you could be getting quite a bargain.

We have joined Dawn O'Porters fundraising team so please feel free to promote this raffle using the Twitter hashtag #teamhotpats. We've set ourselves the target of £50 so we need 50 lovely people to enter the raffle before 10pm on Friday. It's a bit short notice but we're hoping for the best.

You can enter the raffle here:

https://my.rednoseday.com/sponsor/romanyscarlett

Thank you so much for your support.

Valentine's Chocolate Bouquet

Valentine's Chocolate Bouquet

I made this chocolate monstrosity for Rich and it was supposed to be for Valentine's Day but due to the unexpected snow flurry he was working from home this afternoon and he's already seen it. Oops! Still, it means I can do this blog a bit earlier.

We don't usually bother with Valentine's Day and never get each other cards let alone gifts. There's only 4 weeks between mine and Rich's birthdays and Valentine's is right in the middle so it's not really something that we feel the need to celebrate. But I've wanted to make a chocolate bouquet for ages so Valentine's is the perfect excuse. 

To make this bouquet you'll need a few simple pieces of kit.

I used a cylindrical gift box that I got from The Card Shop, wooden garden cane from Wilkinsons and some oasis (usually used by florists) from Hobbycraft. I also used some flower themed cupcake wrappers from Cakes Cookies and Crafts. I had everything apart from the container already lying around the house and if you don't want to have to go to several shops there are other things you can use. Kebab skewers instead of garden cane, polystyrene instead of oasis and the cupcake wrappers are entirely optional. There are a lot more options for the container - vases, gift bags, bowls etc.  

You'll also need some goodies. I picked up some of Rich's favourite chocolates but I also got a marshmallow Me to You bear lolly because I thought it was a nice addition to the Valentine's theme. 

Additional items needed are sellotape and something to cut your rods - I used secateurs. You can also add some decorations, I used a piece of shredded tissue paper to cover up the oasis and these cute heart picks I got from the 99p Store. 

Here comes the science.

Step 1

Put the oasis inside your container. Cover up with shredded tissue paper if desired.

Step 2

Push your rod through a cupcake wrapper like this. If you're not using cupcake wrappers then just skip this step. Pull the wrapper down to the bottom of the rod ready for the next step. 

Step 3

Secure a chocolate bar to the rod using a couple of strips of sellotape on the back. You could use glue but it's a lot messier and if you use tape you can easily remove the chocolate when it's time to eat it. 

Step 4

Pull up the cupcake wrapper so it sits underneath the chocolate bar like petals. 

Step 5

Insert your rods into the oasis. You'll want the chocolates to be at different heights so you can cut your rods down to size. I found it easier to put the rods into the oasis first to judge how much I needed to cut off. Play around with the arrangements until you find something you like. 

Step 6

Keep adding the rest of your chocolate until you're happy with how everything looks. It doesn't matter if you don't use everything you've bought. I ended up with a spare Toffee Crisp and box of Malteasers. They're unlikely to survive the rest of the week. Yum. 

Step 7

Add some decorations. I used the felt and glitter hearts but you can use anything your imagination can think of. Fresh flowers, ribbons, feathers - whatever you like. 

Step 8

You could finish things at step 7 but I do like to go over the top whenever I can so I tied on some bags of chocolates onto the base. Voila - a completed bouquet. 

While you're making this you'll have to be careful that the whole thing doesn't topple over. Keep the rods as short as possible and every time you add a chocolate, put the next one on the opposite side to balance things out. Once it's completed it will be stable, it's just during the creative process you'll need to watch out. This project is incredibly easy and only took me an hour. Chocolate bouquets cost an absolute fortune in the shops, similar ones online with the same amount of sweets are over £30 and that's without postage. And, perhaps best of all, there's no way one person can eat that much chocolate on their own so they'll have to share - huzzah!

Diabetes? I Dia-beat-it.

On Monday I had what is known as a glucose tolerance test. You have a blood test and then you drink a small cup of glucose solution and two hours later you have another blood test. Today I saw the diabetes specialist for the results and got the news I'd been hoping for - I no longer have diabetes.

I'm writing this blog because I knew I'd get questions and they've already started. You can't cure diabetes, it's not something you can take antibiotics for and after a few weeks it goes away. It's usually a life long condition but can be managed with a variety of drugs and informed choices about food and drink.

By way of background I had type 2 diabetes and it was what is known as NODAT - Now Onset Diabetes After Transplant. It is incredibly common to get diabetes after any kind of organ transplant. The anti-rejection drugs and steroids artificially push blood sugar levels up as well as causing rapid weight gain. Personally, I put on 3 stone in 4 months.

I started to get symptoms at the beginning of March last year, around 8 months after my transplant. Routine transplant blood tests showed that my blood sugars were exceptionally high. I was referred to the diabetes nurse at my local GP surgery and was closely monitored for a fortnight because the healthy range of blood sugar should be between 5 and 7 whereas mine was between 26 and 33. Very scary indeed. With the help of medication I was able to bring it down to safe levels but it meant a daily cocktail of 2 tablets, Metformin and Gliclazide and 2 injections, Insulin and Victoza. It took a few weeks to mix the perfect cocktail, a few times I'd have cold sweats and shaky hands. In the space of 3 weeks my sugars had gone from 33 to 3.

Over the next few months with the help of the renal doctors my transplant medication was reduced. I was weaned off of steroids and finally came off them in July. That made a phenomenal difference and I was able to decrease my dosage of Insulin.

I lost the 3 stone I'd gained after the transplant, coming off the steroids really helped this, and as the dosage of the other transplant medications were reduced, I was able to gradually drop the diabetes medication. First I stopped taking the Gliclazide, then I stopped the Insulin, then the Victoza and finally the Metformin. I haven't taken any medication for diabetes since November and my blood sugar averages a healthy 5.6 reading even on Christmas Day after champagne and orange juice for breakfast, a huge roast dinner and mountains of chocolate.

It's not unusual for a transplant patient to be able to get rid of their diabetes as long as they do what the doctors tell them, which is exactly what I did. It's taken almost a year but I've followed all their instructions and the hard work has paid off. There is no guarantee that I won't get it again in the future but my doctor says that I keep on doing what I'm doing then I've got no reason to be worried. I'll have another glucose tolerance test in 6 months time just to see how everything is and I've got a diabetic eye test in a few weeks time just to check whether any damage has been caused but other than that I can forget all about it. No medication, no sugar level tests in the morning and after meals and no more worrying. Huzzah!

Five Years Since My Friend Took Her Own Life

Next week is the fifth anniversary of a friend taking her own life. We all know the cliche of time being a great healer but it isn't. The emotions today are as raw as they were back then.

I can remember in vivid detail what happened the moment I found out. The text message came in and it was so blunt and to the point. The final sentence was 'She's gone' and it will stay with me forever. I didn't believe it at first and called the sender, my best friend, to ask what she was talking about. It was late at night, around 11pm, and I was living on my own in London. Our conversation was brief as we were both in shock and five minutes after I hung up I was crying like I'd never cried before. I phoned someone who didn't know my friend and sobbed down the phone at them saying that I couldn't believe what had happened.

The next morning is a total blur. I woke up, showered, got dressed, caught the train and went to work. I sat at my desk but instead of starting work I logged into Facebook. I began looking at photos of her and getting more and more worked up to the point of hysteria. A colleague walked by and said good morning. Thankfully it was a colleague I was friendly with because within seconds of her words coming out I broke down and all the emotion came out. I can't remember her taking me out of the building but I found myself sat on a wall outside the office on an incredibly busy street in the middle of the city with a cigarette in my hand which was so weird because I made sure never to smoke at work. I'd stopped screaming by that point and was calm but the tears were still coming so I sat there silently crying. I didn't care that people were looking at me as though I was some kind of lunatic, my friend was dead and at that moment it was the only important thing in the world. I don't recall the conversation I had with my colleague but whatever she said must have helped because she snapped my brain back to reality. What the hell was I doing still in London and why the hell was I at work. I went to the head of the department and said I had to take some time off at short notice and then I left. Within an hour I'd gotten back to my flat, packed a bag and got in my car to head to my home town.

I went straight to the place where my group of friends were congregating. I remember people coming and going, I remember people crying and I remember the big joke about one of our group taking longer to get there from the other side of town than it had taken me to get there all the way from London. I was there for a few days but I can hardly recall a single solid thing, it's like those days are gone from my memory. I know we talked about her and shared stories but that's it. I think we were all just so stunned. I'd been talking to her only a couple of days before hand about arranging a stripper for our youngest friend as he was about to turn 18. She had plans, things to look forward to.

When I got back to London I sat on my bed and ate an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's Baked Alaska. I cried the whole time. And then the world started turning once more. Normal life resumed except it could never be normal again. My beautiful friend is dead.

Every year since then I've followed the same ritual. Every day in the week leading up to the anniversary I look at photos of her, I watch her YouTube videos and I listen to the song she was playing when she died. I feel so sad for her that it becomes a physical pain. Sometimes I get angry, sometimes I smile and sometimes I cry but whatever the reaction, it hurts so very much. I miss her.

I've purposely not revealed her name or how she died - her story is not mine to tell. What I will say though is that her death is down to depression. She was such a beautiful person inside and out. I know that is what everyone says but in this case it's the truth. She had a figure that people pay a lot of money to replicate and she loved kids, animals and her friends. She was always up for a good time and always had a smile on her lovely face. But the thing with depression is you can't see it and underneath it all she was hurting.

Her pain is now ours to carry. We have lost somebody special and we also have to live with the fact that we couldn't help her. Deep down we know its not our fault but it still doesn't make it any easier.

The impact of suicide was not new to me. My maternal grandmother took her own life many years before I was born. Again, depression was to blame. The ripples and aftershock of suicide travel through the years and can never be forgotten. They find ways of encroaching into happy times and tainting things. When something good happens and then you remember you can't share it with that person. The memories you have of that person become bittersweet. The death of my friend and the circumstances around it are just so tragic and it scares me to know that other people may be feeling what she did.

So much has happened in the last five years from world wide events to small personal victories. But every February I'm back in my tiny flat in London reading a text message with the worst possible news. It will be the same in another five years time. These emotions are never going to go and in a twisted kind of way, I like it. It means I'll never forget her.

TwitFit Club - So it begins

With the arrival of the new year comes the obligatory resolutions about losing weight, being healthy and dieting. Well, 2013 is no different and a few of us on Twitter have teamed up to motivate each other and provide helpful little tips and tricks. Go team!

This TwitFit Club will be the same as your average diet club but without the inconvenience of having to go to meetings and handing over a fiver each week. It's just a bunch of people with similar goals helping each other out. 

At no point will you ever have to disclose your weight and your level of participation is entirely up to you and can vary from week to week depending on how you feel and how busy you are. You can follow whatever diet or fitness plan that suits you most (personally I will doing the Slimming World plan). No embarrassment, no regime and no pressure. 

I will be documenting my weight losses each week and have chosen Wednesday mornings as my weigh-in time. Obviously with any diet you have good weeks and bad and there's no shame in putting on a couple of pounds after a big event or bad week so I'll be documenting that too. If you want to do the same then let me know and I'll create a chart. I've been dieting for exactly 7 days and today was my first weigh-in. The scales were particularly kind and said I'd lost 5lbs. Not a bad start but the first week on any diet is always the most successful and delivers the biggest loss so I'm not expecting anything quite as dramatic next week. I'm happy to admit that I'm quite worried by the prospect of sharing my losses/gains as the various medications I take have some adverse effects. Eek!

Charleynew lost a fabulous 3lb this week. You can find her on Twitter. 

I'll start off TwitFit Club with an easy recipe for guilt-free chips that are very popular on the Slimming World plan. If you happen to be following that diet then these chips are syn free on a green day. Even if you're not following it, these chips are delicious but don't have all the fat that come with the deep fried variety. It's a well researched and documented fact that if you deny all treats you're more likely to fall off the wagon. Armed with this recipe you'll be less likely to make an impulse purchase at the chippy on the way home after a bad day at work.

Ingredients: Potatoes, Fry-Light oil, salt and vinegar. 

Method: Peel your potatoes and cut them into chips. Thick cut chips work best. Par-boil your chips and drain well. Spread them out on a baking tray and spritz a few times with Fry-Light. Bake in the oven for 30 minutes at 200 degrees. Season with salt and vinegar. Devour. If you want them a bit crispier you can cook them for longer. 

So, if you want to join in, share a recipe, offer an exercise tip or if you want to take part in the weight loss monitoring - get in touch and let me know. I'm especially interested in calorie burning stats ie how many calories a 30 minute bike ride burns. If you've got any particular requests, share them here and maybe somebody will be able to help you out. 

Liebster Award

I was tagged to do this post (called the Liebster Award) by Penny from Lillies and Love.  It's just a bit of fun but I rather like this kind of thing and it's a way of getting to know people better. 


The Rules
- The nominees must link back to the blogger who awarded them
- If you are nominated, write "11 Random Facts" about yourself, then answer the 11 questions the awarder wrote for you 
- Make up 11 new questions to be answered, then nominate 11 other bloggers to take part. 

I'm going to have to cheat a bit here because I don't know 11 other bloggers well enough to tag them. Penny has tagged a couple of people I would have so I'll have to skip them but I'm going to tag three bloggers and leave it up to anyone else if they want to take part. You can say I tagged you, don't worry I'll back you up. 

11 Random Facts About Me...

I have a phobia of turkeys.

I used to be addicted to Extra Strong Mints and would eat up to 5 packs a day.

I was once an extra in a tv puppet show and had to get covered in pretend poo.

Cliff Richard accidentally touched my bum at a funeral.

I have been boycotting McDonalds for over 9 years.

I have had a kidney transplant (thanks for the gift, Mum!).

It's my life ambition to one day own a tank full of axolotls. 

My favourite food is, and always will be, pizza.

My favourite colour is purple.

I've never had a filling in any of my teeth.

I used to drive a white car with black cow spots painted on it.

My Questions From Penny...

- How old are you? - I'm 27 but I will be 28 in three weeks time (yikes!)

- What are your favourite boys and girls names? - Opal for a girl, Harry for a boy.

- If you could have any career, what would it be? - When I was a kid I always wanted to be a scientist. I think my inner child still wishes this was a possibility! 

- Who are the three people you consider your heroes/heroines? - Eddie Izzard, Richard O'Brien and Terry Pratchett. I actually wrote a blog (here) on it a while ago. 

- What has been the proudest moment of your life so far? - Surviving renal failure. I got pretty close to giving up a few times.

- What ambitions do you have? - To own a home with Rich. Oh, and to have a tank full of axolotls in it of course. 

- Do you have a lucky number? - The superstition says that 13 is unlucky for some but I've always found it to be a good luck charm.

- If you won £17,000,000 on the lottery, what would you do with it? - I'd buy a house for Rich and I, pay off all the debts for both our families and friends, make some donations to charity and travel the world. I'd also set up my own charity that specifically helps young transplant patients funding the costs of their education, holidays and deposits for homes. 

- If you could spend 2-weeks anywhere in the world, where would you go? - I'd love to go to Japan. I'd spend a few days in Tokyo and then the rest of the time I'd travel the country looking at the natural beauty of the land.

- What is your favourite film and television programme? - My favourite film has absolutely got to be Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's hard to pick a single favourite tv show but I'm especially fond of cheesy American crime dramas like CSI, Castle and Criminal Minds. 

- If you could only read three books for the rest of your life, what would they be? - Feet of Clay by Terry Pratchett because it's my favourite book from his Discworld series, Each Peach Pear Plum by Janet and Allan Ahlberg because it reminds me of my childhood, Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien because it's an escape into a fantasy land and can be whatever your imagination wants it to be.

My Questions For You Lot...

- How old are you?
- What is your first memory?
- Who would play you in a movie of your life?
- What is your favourite book?
- If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life what would it be?
- Do you have any hobbies?
- Where is your favourite place in the world?
- Do you have any interesting scars?
- Do you have phobias?
- Do you have any pets?
- Pirates or ninjas?

Ok, so here are my tags:

Rachel from Things that make me go aagghh!

Jeni from Make up for the Morrissey fan

Scott aka Scooshmeister