What Really Grinds My Gears

We've all got our pet hates, things that grind our gears for inexplicable reasons. Things that make us wince, squirm and struggle not to correct. They're usually really simple little things that have absolutely no detrimental effect on our well-being or happiness but yet they they grate like nails on a chalkboard. We know we shouldn't let them bother us but they do and these are mine:

Expresso

I don't even drink coffee so I have no idea why this causes me such pain but every time I hear someone say "expresso" I want to strangle them and scream at them that "IT'S ESPRESSO, NOT EXPRESSO, THERE'S NO X YOU BLOODY MORON". I know I'm not alone in my hatred of mispronunciations, my best friend quit a job once because one of her co-workers pronounced mayonnaise as 'maronnaise' and she just couldn't deal with it any more. Perhaps it's a blessing that I don't like coffee so I don't run the risk of encountering these imbeciles on a regular basis inside coffee shops. 

Dr. Who

I love Doctor Who and it really, really, really grinds my gears when I see it written as Dr Who. It offends me for so many reasons. Firstly, the show is called Doctor Who - it's not called Dr Who. Secondly, it implies his surname is Who. To explain - if I was a doctor I would be Dr Meehan because that's my surname so calling him Dr Who makes his surname Who. Which it isn't. Thirdly, he introduces himself as The Doctor and it's a running theme in that people then say "Doctor? Doctor Who?" because his name isn't Doctor Who and writing it as Dr Who makes it look that way, to me at least. Again, I know I'm not alone in this as it's a common cause for complaint amongst fans of the show. Shouldn't we worry about more important things? We probably should but it won't stop us being irritated by this.

Prom

Proms themselves don't upset me but the way the word is treated like a proper noun does. It's the word 'the' being missing from most sentences involving proms that gets me. People say "It's prom this weekend" or "I don't have a date for prom". I feel like it should be "It's THE prom this weekend" and "I don't have a date for THE prom". If we were going shopping, we wouldn't say "I'm going to shops", we'd say "I'm going to THE shops". A proper noun refers to a unique entity eg a country, person or city. Proms are not unique entities, they're events. We don't say "I'm going to cinema tonight" or "I'm going to concert" we say THE cinema and THE concert. I'm raging just writing this. I hope I've explained it properly because I have to move on before I throw myself and the laptop out the window.

Best/Cutest/Greatest in the WORLD

I feel a bit hypocritical about this one because I've got a photo of Monty in a Facebook album that I've written "the cutest little doggy in the whole wide world" on. To be fair I uploaded that picture before this became a pet hate of mine as it's something that has developed over the past 18 months. But I sure do hate it now. It's such a lame and lazy compliment. It's something people say when they lack any sort of creativity to say something nice about the person they're talking about. Obviously getting a card from your 6 year old kid proclaiming you to be the best parent in the world is a pretty special thing. Getting a card from your 30 year old offspring with the same message is a bit less special. It's such a boring, stealth brag - especially when parents battle it out with other parents on photos of their kids. And don't get me started on "I really do have the best boyfriend/girlfriend in the world" followed by something utterly mundane like "they've hoovered the lounge" or "they've bought me some Malteasers". The fact you can't think of something a bit more creative or nice to say pretty much negates your claim.

That's Tom with a capital T

I've had to save this for last because this is The One. Such a blight on my existence that it makes me want to scream every time I hear it. When someone gives you their email address and they tell you it's all in lower case or that the first initial has to be a capital letter. I have tried my very best to rise above it and to not let it bother me but every attempt has failed. Miserably. It's an unhappy coincidence that for the past 10 years I've been working in offices so I hear this a lot more than any person should ever have to and sometimes it's taken real effort not to correct people. I've had colleagues who, despite me patiently explaining it to them and sending them an email to JoHnSmItH@PrEtEnD.CoM, still insist on specifying that it all has to be lower case. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? IT'S 2013 FOR GOODNESS SAKE! WHY ARE THEY ALLOWED OUT OF THE HOUSE LET ALONE BEING ALLOWED TO USE A COMPUTER?? I've got an eye twitch just from thinking about it. AAAAAARRRRGH!

So those are my top 5 pet hates. I realise they're silly and unimportant and I know there are much bigger things I could spend my energy on but I can't help it, these things get me every time. If you've got something that inexplicably causes you to see the red mist, I'd love to hear what it is! Perhaps it's something I'm guilty of doing in which case - sorry! 

Now, here's some dachshund puppies. Everything is right with the world again.