Barren Karen - No kids for me.

I DO NOT WANT CHILDREN

There. I've said it.

This statement is usually met in one of two ways. Either people look at me like I'm some kind of freak with two heads and a tail or they smile knowingly and say that I'm young and will change my mind.

I don't and I won't.

The people who have a problem with this tend to be parents. If you are a parent and you're reading, please know this - your kids are awesome. Even when they're having a tantrum in the supermarket, drawing all over their siblings with permanent marker or shaving the dog. Your decision to procreate has no impact on my life so my decision not to procreate should have no impact on your life. Just as I respect your choice, you should respect mine.

I have two very good reasons for not wanting kids. The first is for medical reasons and the second is that I know I'd be a terrible parent.

My kidney disease is hereditary. Except actually it isn't. Confusing? Yes. I have kidney problems because of a genetic mutation that occurred when I was a teeny tiny foetus. Think X-Men except rather than shooting lasers from my eyes or controlling the weather, my kidneys don't work. But now that I have the rogue gene there is a 50/50 chance of me passing it on to any children I have. The gene can't be dormant, if you carry it then you have symptoms. This is how we know mine is a genetic mutation because there is no history of renal disease in my family so it's not something my mum or dad have passed on to me.

It's at this point that people usually jump in with extremely helpful (*cough*) advice such as "every baby has a chance of something being wrong with it, you won't know until you try". This is very true. Every foetus has the chance of developing some kind of fault whether it's a hole in the heart or a cleft pallet. There is also the chance of disabilities and other diseases. But the odds are usually very long and in your favour. My odds are 50/50. Toss a coin - heads your baby is born with a life threatening illness, tails it isn't. Still fancy those odds?

I've seen my mum go through hell watching me almost die several times and it was her gift of a kidney transplant that saved my life (well, for a while at least). If I have kids it will be entirely my fault that they are ill and I won't be able to do a single thing to help.

I would make a terrible mum. I don't like being outside - beaches and parks are my idea of a living hell. I can't stand noise or mess, I lack even a small amount of patience and I'm neurotic at the best of times. Any child of mine would spend its life indoors watching tv and that is no life to lead.

Then there's the money aspect. Call me a judgmental snob, I really don't care, but if you have kids without the means to support them then you are scum. I don't mean people who fall on hard times, I mean the ones that decide to have kids as a way to get a flat and an income. Once we buy a house next year we will have to be frugal to ensure that we can provide for ourselves, let alone providing for a baby.

I've never been maternal in any way. My friends would always coo over a baby in the street but I wasn't remotely bothered. I've never once said that I wanted children and when I was diagnosed with renal problems at the age of 19 and I found out the odds of passing it on, it validated my decision. Rich has made no secret of his wish to remain childless too. My friends have been having kids for the best part of a decade and whilst I love all of their children, not once have I looked at any them and thought "I wish you were mine".

On medical grounds alone I have good enough reasons for not having children but I'm constantly surprised at how many people disagree. I've spoken to numerous doctors and the renal psychologist and they all wholeheartedly agree with my decision, not just for the health of any potential child but for my own health too. Add to that my hatred of the outdoors and inability to provide support and I find it hard to see how anyone could come to a different conclusion yet they continue to do so.

I'm often asked why we don't consider about adoption if I don't want to pass on an illness to natural children. It goes back to the fundamental basis that we do not actually want any kids.

It's 2012. We as a species can have happy, loving same sex or inter-racial relationships that are only frowned upon by sad, uneducated bigots. So why can't two people decide that they are happy with each other and leave it at that? Why does society gasp in horror and consider a woman to be a failure if she doesn't pop out a few sprogs?

I've been told by earth mother types that it's my responsibility as a woman to produce children. Really? I'd have thought it was more of a responsibility to ensure that any kids are healthy and well looked after but obviously not. I've been accused of being selfish because I'm an only child and am therefore depriving my mum of becoming a grandmother. Yes, because what my mum needs instead of just one loved one slowly dying from an incurable disease is two loved ones dying the same way. My grandfather died from lung cancer when my mum was 14 and my grandmother committed suicide when my mum was 16. She has often expressed how hard it is to grow up without one or both your parents and that's exactly the risk I'd be putting on my kids. And yes, any one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow but dying in a freak accident is not the same as dying from a life threatening illness that is systematically destroying your body.

So please, society - let me carry on the way I am. What I'm doing isn't hurting you in any way so stop pushing your ridiculous ideals on me.

And as for you, Mr Stork - well you can just shoo and be on your way!

Don't be a hater?

What exactly is a hater? If somebody could explain this to me, I'd forever be in your debt.

So far the only definition of "hater" I can draw from what I've seen/heard is someone who expresses a negative opinion upon any particular subject. It doesn't mean an abusive opinion, just a negative one.

Last week on a dreary rainy day I was dazzled by a vision in white. Was it an angel or Madonna circa 1980s? No, it was a teenager standing outside McDonalds on Boscombe highstreet wearing a white tracksuit with white trainers, a white t-shirt and a white hat. He couldn't have looked more ridiculous if he'd tried - it was like something out of a bad rap video. Due to the weather his trousers were a soggy grey at the bottom and there were a few mud splashes. One of his friends asked him why he was wearing this ensemble (a valid question in my opinion) and was told "don't be a hater, bruv".

A while ago now one of the accounts I follow on Instagram posted a tweegram text explaining that the account belonging to her sister had been disabled "because of all the haters". The full story was that her sister mainly posted pictures she found on sites like tumblr or reposts of photos from other users. The original owners and their followers had reported her for breach of the terms and conditions and for copyright theft and Instagram had blocked her account.

I'm a member of an online dialysis forum and long ago, before I even joined, a woman created a thread about how she was going to try and get pregnant despite being on dialysis along with a list of all the reasons why it would be ok. She obviously didn't get the response she wanted because she was immediately berated by all the other users for being irresponsible and an idiot. Her reply? "f*ck all you haters".

If a particular artist or type of music isn't to your taste these days you're immediately branded a hater. I can't stand Cher Lloyd or Skrillex and I'd be quite happy if I never heard mention of them again but if somebody told me they didn't like my favourite artists I'd take that as their right to have an opinion, not as being a hater.

To me, hate is a strong word. It's used to describe horrific crimes and the preachings of various religious nutjobs. It's not something to be thrown about whenever someone doesn't like your new shoes or the album you've downloaded.

Why do we expect to get a positive reaction to everything we do even when what we're doing is clearly insane? Getting pregnant whilst on dialysis is not only risky to you but also to your baby. Stealing the works of other artists and claiming them as your own is theft. Wearing an entirely white outfit on a rainy day in Boscombe is plain moronic.

Why are surprised when instead of getting a fan club, we get something different and why are we so quick to take offence to it?

Yesterday I managed to have my first Twitter "argument". My mother would be so proud. I accidentally caused offence to someone who asked if they should buy a hot tub. It started out as a three way conversation and was obviously light hearted. I joked about how the hot tub would freeze in the Scottish winters. The other person (who is also Scottish) said the only people that owned hot tubs in Scotland were the kind of people that appeared on Come Dine With Me. I then said that my ghastly neighbours who were utter pigs also owned a hot tub and that's when it all went wrong. He somehow translated that into me directly calling him a pig and him "taking offence to being tarred with the same brush by somebody with a name like a transvestite". Ok then. Me thinks someone might be a little bit too sensitive. In all seriousness, I was nearly called Rainbow Drops so I got off lightly with Romany Scarlett! Personally, I'd have taken umbridge to being lumped with the Come Dine With Me trash but each to their own. At that point I politely retired from the conversation and apologised for any upset that was caused (although in reality I was laughing my head off).

I wonder if we'd fawned over the suggestion and ooh'd and ahh'd about the prospect of a hot tub, the conversation would have been different. But that's the risk you run when you openly ask for opinions, you have to be prepared to hear ones that don't necessarily appeal to you. Also, much love to the two people that DM'd me to say what a douche this guy was. I appreciate the sentiment but didn't reply because it's best not to get wound up by the little things.

But what has given us this bizarre sense of egotism that everything we do is fabulous and must be praised? Is it because we're told as children that we can be whatever we want? Because that is a lie, we can't. I wanted to be a scientist when I was a little girl but unfortunately I lacked even the basic understanding of Physics and didn't get the grades I needed when I took my exams in later life. You see people on the X-Factor saying that they want to be international superstars but they sound like my dog howling at the terrier next door. Not everyone can be talented or beautiful or clever. That is why those words exist along with untalented, ugly and stupid.

I'd love it if everyone stopped pretending that they were so superior to others, took a step back and allowed people to express themselves however they wish to without being branded as a hater. If that means accepting that another human being doesn't want to listen to Skrillex at 2am on a Tuesday night (see, my neighbours really are utter pigs!) then so be it.