Get a life? Stop being judgmental and get your own.

Twice in the past few weeks I've been told to get a life. Once indirectly, the other directly. I suppose the first doesn't really count because it was by a person expressing their opinion about everyone who watches a certain popular weekend song based reality tv show. But the second one did make me think.

It came about because I said I was going to return a book because the shop had put 3 huge stickers on the cover and they wouldn't come off without damaging the book. For this I was told I need to stop complaining and go out and live. I've thought about it for a few weeks and my conclusion is that living is exactly what I am doing.

Anyone who knows me is aware I had a scary couple of years of ill health, goodness knows I bang on about it enough. In that time I almost died 3 times and the simple fact is that I am lucky to still be here. Obviously I'd much rather not have gone through this ordeal but there is an upside to it because I truly appreciate everything I get to experience from the mundane to the exciting.

I wrote two letters each time I was due to have an operation. One to Rich and one to my mum. I won't go into the emotional content as thankfully neither of them ever had to read them and they never will because every time I came home safely, I destroyed the letters. There's something about writing a final goodbye to the people you love that makes you appreciate them that little bit more. There's also something to be said about putting your life on paper. Your bank pin number, passwords, where you keep the car documentation, the phone numbers of people who will need to be told if something goes wrong. I know people write Wills but they're usually made on the assumption of being used a long time in the future. It's quite a humbling experience.

I may not be achieving incredible deeds or changing the world. I'll never parachute to Earth after leaping from space. I'll never run a marathon. I'll never develop a cure for the common cold. But what I will do is be happy and that is what I am - truly happy. I get to spend extra time with the people I love. I get to hug my dog, bake a cake and walk through a forest. These little joyful things are so beautiful. I see things differently now, it's not just a drink in the pub with friends, it's a chance to listen to their stories and share their lives. I went to a friends 30th birthday party recently and it wasn't just an opportunity to catch up with people I'd not seen for years, it was a chance to see people I thought I'd never see again. It's like winning first prize in a contest you didn't even know you'd entered.

And the whole thing that started this off was a bitter person judging me for wanting to return a book. But it's not just a book. The book in question was the latest Terry Pratchett novel. I've already written about why he's one of my heroes. It's not just words on paper. It's a chance to appreciate a story from a writer I have loved for over half my life. It's a chance to escape to a glorious world created by an exceptional mind. It's no secret that Terry is ill himself so every book he writes is that little bit more delicious. It's a treasure you weren't expecting to find.

It's sad that this person would be so dismissive. I need to go out and live because something I hold so dear to my heart wasn't quite right but was easily rectifiable? Being so derisive seems silly when you get the context behind it. I might think that their life isn't much to write home about. Letting your newly set up business fail so you can stay at home in your pyjamas stuffing your face all day in front of the telly while your partner goes out to work to support you and your baby. I could think that but I don't. I know better than to tell someone to get a life without knowing all the facts.

You might look at somebody's life and think it's not how you'd spend yours. That's fine. Don't spend it like them. Spend it how you want and focus your energies onto enjoying it rather than worrying about what other people are doing. Take the time to do something you love instead of commenting on how you don't love what another person is doing. The old cliché is 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone' and as ancient as it is, it doesn't stop it being true. If you spend your time looking out the window and judging what other people are doing, your own opportunities will be gone before you know it.