But most of all I love being able to appreciate the beauty of other women without worrying what my friends or society thinks of me. I can watch Doctor Who and marvel over Karen Gillan with her perfect skin. I can see a photo of Rihanna in a bikini and say "wow - what a body". I can go shopping with a friend and tell her that she's found a killer top that flatters her in all the right places. I can talk about Emma Stone being a total babe with my other female friends without worrying that they'll think I'm secretly in the closet. Sadly, this is something men can't do. If a bloke went to the pub and said to his friends "Cor, have you seen Eric in True Blood? That is something special" he would be mocked relentlessly probably for the rest of his life.
Girls can find beauty in other girls when men might overlook it. We can see a beautiful smile, great hair or sparkling eyes while men might just see body or bust sizes. I know the old adage 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' but I wish that men could understand how women work when it comes to rating other women.
What comes up time and time again is if any man overhears any woman making what he perceives to be a negative remark about a semi-naked female. It could be a Page 3 girl, a porn star or even that strange creature in a body stocking on X-Factor last week and it might be a remark as innocent as "oops, she's forgotten to fake tan her underarms". The first thing he will say is "you're only saying that because you're jealous".
No. We. Are. Not.
What are we supposed to be jealous of exactly? That we aren't in the paper pouting whilst simultaneously cupping our breasts? Oh wait, maybe we're supposed to be jealous that we aren't as thin as the model. Or should we be jealous that we aren't as pretty? It doesn't work that way. We might say "oh dear, she's got an orange face from the wrong foundation" but that doesn't mean we're slating her or calling her ugly. It's just an observation. Looking a picture of a female celeb on the red carpet and saying that we don't like her dress because it's not the right cut for her isn't a catty remark, it's simply a fashion critique. We may have swooned over her dress at an awards ceremony the week before.
Men are allowed to openly criticise and pass judgement on other men when it comes to sports but they're not laughed at and called jealous. If anything, men are more likely to be jealous of their sporting heroes than girls are of strippers. Getting paid a ton of cash to kick a ball around, have a huge house, fast car and a good looking wife is obviously quite the incentive. On the other hand being a stripper means an eternity of dieting, plucking, waxing, shaving, dying, straightening, cleansing, toning, moisturising and dancing around for men who can't find a woman willing to get naked for him without being paid. Creepy and a lot of hard work.
Some girls might have an issue with the man, or indeed woman, in her life watching porn or looking at boobs on Page 3 but it's not out of jealousy. It's out of respect for herself.
At some point in every woman's life they have tried to impress their significant other. For some this could involve a 3 day pampering ritual starting with the removal of all their body hair from the neck down, others may go to the hairdresser or they could simply wear that special dress they know their partner loves. Standing there naked with it all hanging out and on show is pretty much the least effort you can go to.
Ask any man if he'd be happy with his daughter, sister or girlfriend doing porn or Page 3 and the chances are he'll say no. Why? Because he knows how men think and that they will only see her as a pair of boobs with no respect. So it's ok for men to forget these girls are human beings and talk about what they'd like to do to her and objectify her but if another woman says she should reshape her eyebrows then she's the one in the wrong because she's jealous? Yes, it all makes perfect sense.
Personally I don't see anything wrong with getting your body out as a career so long as it is something you haven't been forced into. My cousin has made a fortune from dancing round a pole. She's paid for her house, always has a new car, nice clothes and the latest gadgets etc. and it's been her choice. She's a genius because essentially men are paying her to wiggle to the music for a few minutes. They don't get to touch her and if they annoy her she can get them thrown out, minus their money of course.
Guys, if you took a girl home to meet your parents and had to tell them that she was a topless model would you be comfortable doing it? If your mum didn't approve you almost certainly wouldn't say it was because she was jealous would you? So why do you say it to your platonic friends and colleagues?
The next time you hear a girl say something about another woman don't assume the worst and think she's been possessed by the green-eyed monster. Respect her enough to acknowledge that she's allowed an opinion on whether nipple tassels look tacky.
I think Eric from True Blood is smokin' and you know I'm straight. True story. Adam
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