Don't be a hater?

What exactly is a hater? If somebody could explain this to me, I'd forever be in your debt.

So far the only definition of "hater" I can draw from what I've seen/heard is someone who expresses a negative opinion upon any particular subject. It doesn't mean an abusive opinion, just a negative one.

Last week on a dreary rainy day I was dazzled by a vision in white. Was it an angel or Madonna circa 1980s? No, it was a teenager standing outside McDonalds on Boscombe highstreet wearing a white tracksuit with white trainers, a white t-shirt and a white hat. He couldn't have looked more ridiculous if he'd tried - it was like something out of a bad rap video. Due to the weather his trousers were a soggy grey at the bottom and there were a few mud splashes. One of his friends asked him why he was wearing this ensemble (a valid question in my opinion) and was told "don't be a hater, bruv".

A while ago now one of the accounts I follow on Instagram posted a tweegram text explaining that the account belonging to her sister had been disabled "because of all the haters". The full story was that her sister mainly posted pictures she found on sites like tumblr or reposts of photos from other users. The original owners and their followers had reported her for breach of the terms and conditions and for copyright theft and Instagram had blocked her account.

I'm a member of an online dialysis forum and long ago, before I even joined, a woman created a thread about how she was going to try and get pregnant despite being on dialysis along with a list of all the reasons why it would be ok. She obviously didn't get the response she wanted because she was immediately berated by all the other users for being irresponsible and an idiot. Her reply? "f*ck all you haters".

If a particular artist or type of music isn't to your taste these days you're immediately branded a hater. I can't stand Cher Lloyd or Skrillex and I'd be quite happy if I never heard mention of them again but if somebody told me they didn't like my favourite artists I'd take that as their right to have an opinion, not as being a hater.

To me, hate is a strong word. It's used to describe horrific crimes and the preachings of various religious nutjobs. It's not something to be thrown about whenever someone doesn't like your new shoes or the album you've downloaded.

Why do we expect to get a positive reaction to everything we do even when what we're doing is clearly insane? Getting pregnant whilst on dialysis is not only risky to you but also to your baby. Stealing the works of other artists and claiming them as your own is theft. Wearing an entirely white outfit on a rainy day in Boscombe is plain moronic.

Why are surprised when instead of getting a fan club, we get something different and why are we so quick to take offence to it?

Yesterday I managed to have my first Twitter "argument". My mother would be so proud. I accidentally caused offence to someone who asked if they should buy a hot tub. It started out as a three way conversation and was obviously light hearted. I joked about how the hot tub would freeze in the Scottish winters. The other person (who is also Scottish) said the only people that owned hot tubs in Scotland were the kind of people that appeared on Come Dine With Me. I then said that my ghastly neighbours who were utter pigs also owned a hot tub and that's when it all went wrong. He somehow translated that into me directly calling him a pig and him "taking offence to being tarred with the same brush by somebody with a name like a transvestite". Ok then. Me thinks someone might be a little bit too sensitive. In all seriousness, I was nearly called Rainbow Drops so I got off lightly with Romany Scarlett! Personally, I'd have taken umbridge to being lumped with the Come Dine With Me trash but each to their own. At that point I politely retired from the conversation and apologised for any upset that was caused (although in reality I was laughing my head off).

I wonder if we'd fawned over the suggestion and ooh'd and ahh'd about the prospect of a hot tub, the conversation would have been different. But that's the risk you run when you openly ask for opinions, you have to be prepared to hear ones that don't necessarily appeal to you. Also, much love to the two people that DM'd me to say what a douche this guy was. I appreciate the sentiment but didn't reply because it's best not to get wound up by the little things.

But what has given us this bizarre sense of egotism that everything we do is fabulous and must be praised? Is it because we're told as children that we can be whatever we want? Because that is a lie, we can't. I wanted to be a scientist when I was a little girl but unfortunately I lacked even the basic understanding of Physics and didn't get the grades I needed when I took my exams in later life. You see people on the X-Factor saying that they want to be international superstars but they sound like my dog howling at the terrier next door. Not everyone can be talented or beautiful or clever. That is why those words exist along with untalented, ugly and stupid.

I'd love it if everyone stopped pretending that they were so superior to others, took a step back and allowed people to express themselves however they wish to without being branded as a hater. If that means accepting that another human being doesn't want to listen to Skrillex at 2am on a Tuesday night (see, my neighbours really are utter pigs!) then so be it.